THE PRINTS AND THE POPPER ~ Epic*sode 3: "Groping Against Grope" ~ By Absolutely*Kate and Harry B. Sanderford of Harbinger*33

~ PRESENTING OUR

   MYSTERY*MATINEE ~

 "THE PRINTS

AND THE POPPER"

  
FROM WHERE WE LEFT OFF

 IN LAST WEEK'S CLIFFHANGER

 *AT THE BIJOU*

LAST WEEK'S CLIFFHANGER?
for Epic'sode 2: "The Clot Thickens"  {{ *CLICK* HERE }} 

FOR THE VERY FIRST PRINTS & POPPER CLIFFHANGER?

{{ *CLICK* HERE }} 
 

~ ~ EPIC*SODE 3 ~ ~

"Groping Against Grope"

~ By Absolutely*Kate 

and

Harry B. Sanderford

With all eyes batting 20/20 at the balcony, Eddie silently hustled his backside in motion, carefully, carefully . . . when he reached it, sliding ass'wise backwards against the BIJOU wall, his fingers went on the grope for the woodmolding Ms Kate had wallpapered over to conceal a doorway that only the staff really knew existed. She kept trying to get everyone to call it the wallway and he had to admit, it was catchy enough to catch on. Ms Kate was like that with words that took more a turn to meaning what they said. Ms Kate was also rather fond of folks havin' a good laughin' time AT THE BIJOU. Though she loved edge-of-the-seat excitable action, Eddie the Popcorn Popper, intrinsic boy detective, knew it took no Sherlock-brains to decipher she would consider the screamin', dying, bloody messes and disappearing acts goin' way too far on the topple over the top. He had to get to his locker in the staff room for the Super Spy Private Eye fingerprinting kit stashed safely on the top shelf. He could be and should be the one to figure all these disturbing goings-on out, make AT THE BIJOU safe and entertainingly happy the way Ms Kate joyed at it most. He might still be a junior at Mathews High School, but guldarnit, he was going to give it the college try now!

Whewww, through the wallway into the BIJOU lobby behind Ms Sugar's Candy*Land! He made it! With all the ruckus still wreaking the other side of the double doors to the main theatre, this was a clean getaway. Remembering Mr Leon's patronizing PI talk, Eddie smirked, patted his pocket's slight bulge from his purge below Ms Jeanette's special Row #9, and walked a frenzy of a hurry into how he walked his walk.

"Is that a pistol in your pocket or are you just glad to see me, Ed?", mugged the warm stance and teasin' temptin' smile-style of his main squeeze, Mary Lou. "WHATEVER is goin' on with all the police vehicles blockin' the BIJOU? I came 'round back, parkin' next to your Charger, like you tole me I should when I get a chance. Dairy Queen's grand season-opening is such a delicious success that Mr Martin gave us hour shift breaks and said to come back and scoop double duty into the evening hours. So what's the scoop here, and you gonna smooch me or what?" 

Eddie gave her a distracted smack and when her reflexive deflection met thin air rather than Eddie’s customary grab at a grope, Mary Lou knew something big was up. Lord help Eddie if they ever dusted Mary Lou for prints. “You know, I didn’t have to come here on my break.”, she said giving him a push and snapping her gum.

“Aw c’mon, I’m sorry baby.” He tried groping in earnest now but she was a ninja. It was too little, too late. Eddie fished the object he’d found beneath Jeanette’s chair out of his pocket and held it up for her to see. “I am glad to see you Mary Lou, but it wasn’t a pistol in my pocket.”

“You got an IPhone!”, she squealed with glee beyond any rational explanation. Eddie, his hands suddenly quite full of Mary Lou, would hold off breaking the news that it was technically evidence. 

 ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

When The Prof failed to respond to the second round of queries Harry decided it was time to shine some light of his own. He headed for the balcony stairs followed by Sergeant Stine. Lieutenant Philips signaled and the uniformed officers snapped to action, joining the procession up the stairs. In his haste Harry banged his knee into the arm of the first chair and cursing an inspired streak of mostly matriarchal familial vulgarities, hopped the rest of the way to the far wall and switched on the lights. The illumination revealed only what Sergeant Stine had suspected in the dark. The candle holder and its extinguished waxy stub stood on the armrest between seats 4 and 5 in Row 2. The Professor, was not standing. 

Sergeant Stine nudged him with his boot and the beloved BIJOU academic roused, muttering, "Let not the perfect be the enemy of the good!"  

Stine called down to the constable, “Better grab one of those medics before they clear out.” Stine knelt down to the prone Prof, "Better tell me slow and low what you mean by that mutter Matt, before too many on the scene misconstrue what should be safe between . . . just me and you."

Sugar took Zelda to the Gent’s Room to help her clean up and calm down. Lieutenant Phillips instructed the patrolmen to scour every inch of the balcony, if there was a jujube he wanted it tagged. Leon was the only one to take a head count and notice Eddie’s absence and in his spectral way found the shadows and created his own.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Meanwhile, as the two young lovers grappled in their gropings unaware, a struggle of a more untangling nature was chiseling away the knot at wit's end. A woman in her right mind with an emery board in her left pocket can always get by, a determined dame on the ropes, undaunted by how circumstances had tied up her day to what felt like a New Hampshire Hitchcock, given the back back slat and pillow placement, reeled in self preservation ambiance. 

Thoughts back and forth, thoughts forth and back, the orangewood emery board pressing in the same progressive rhythms to its unravel of what felt like…theatre cords before an opening gala? Hard to be certain, blindfolded as she was, but whatever her binds, They do seem looser, a no longer tightly strung Jeanette gleefully assessed.  With just a few more strands undone, I might just be able to wriggle my wrist free and get to my I-phone pocket!

* C * L * I * F * F * H * A * N * G * E * R * !

* AT THE BIJOU * 

Please return to next Saturday's Matinee

for the next gut-gripping epic'sode!

" The Prints and The Popper "

THE PRINTS AND THE POPPER ~ Epic'sode 2: "The Clot Thickens" ... By Absolutely*Kate and Harry B. Sanderford of Harbinger*33

~ PRESENTING OUR   MYSTERY*MATINEE ~

 "THE PRINTS

AND THE POPPER"

  
FROM WHERE WE LEFT OFF

 IN LAST WEEK'S CLIFFHANGER

 *AT THE BIJOU*

{{  LAST WEEK'S CLIFFHANGER? *CLICK* HERE }}

~ ~ EPIC*SODE 2 ~ ~

"The Clot Thickens"

~ By Absolutely*Kate 

and

Harry B. Sanderford

"Ah saay, ah saay . . . who the heck parked that fire-enginey red shiny flashy lights vehicle in my reserved T-Bird spot? Doggone it! Is nothin' sacred here AT THE BIJOU? I've been havin' nothin' but fun, fun, fun in that joy jalopy so that Dad never takes it away - - SAAAAAAY Eddie, Shoogs -- what's up with all the down looks perplexin' around here? Where's everybody's customary cheer? -- "

AT THE BIJOU's hometown hero Harry was cut off mid-exclaimin' by the zoooom of Zelda through the double hung virile mahogany doors. "There's a bloody mess in the Ladies' Room I fear!!!"

Sugar, though an indomitable damsel of distinction not ever frettin' distress, still reached for the solid comfort feel of Harry's black leather jacket's appeal, smilin' through her shivers at his constant attempts to be THE BIJOU's Author Fonzarelli. Zelda let loose with a zither of a 'splainin' as to why her hands were a tell'tale crimson and her face bright fright white. And was that Leon lingering under a pulled down fedora near a pile up of tumbled lime jello shots near Zelda's normal lucky row, row number 13?

I saw all this and I saw that well-loved Popper fella Eddie take advantage of the dames on the explain to whip his magnifying glass into range, down a little closer to the side'arm where Jeanette last was seen on the scene. That little bugger bent even further in his furtive investigation and whipped some scrap from the floor to his pocket. Hmm, wonder what that is. I'll have to get closer to see.

Me?

I'm the Phantom AT THE BIJOU. Naturally. I know all but don't necessarily tell all. The only two that really can perceive me, so far . . . is of course that communing Kate and somehow, vibrationally I think, the clever Clevenger, scary that Carrie. Leon might be on to me, but I'm not quite sure ~ a lot goes on under an astute detective-writer's pulled down dapper fedora. Not sure yet if anyone other than Zelda knows he's shadowing this BIJOU scene. I'm sensing Leon feels that too ~ he's moving rather stealthily.

Well let's watch the history of this mystery unfold, shall we? And where's Carrie? You see her?

 
"Look you guys! LOOK! I saw a flicker in the balcony! Just now!!", Sugar's dolce vita sweet tones switched to shreik-frequency, bypassing several octaves.

Attuned, a low'range mutter of a man's deep rumble jostled the assembled theatre group, "Here's a clue, crew. That's the Professor, Katie's plum. In the balcony. With a candlestick. He says it helps him be authentic when reading ancient history.”

Leon Jackson Davenport stepped out of the shadows of the seat rows below the balcony startling a starting to be nervous Sugar and the already jumpy Zelda. Funny how he had a knack for appearing out of nowhere. He pushed his fedora back on his head and put a hand on Sugar’s elbow in a calming gesture, “Everything OK up top Professor?”

“I might be able to shed some light . . .” The Prof began.

 “You’re going to want to be careful with the crime scene there Junior.” Leon interrupted, turning his attention to Eddie who was now on his belly between the seats wriggling his reach up to the shoulder for something under the chair.

Eddie left whatever he was after where it was and sprang to his feet. “I haven’t disturbed anything Mr. Leon. Honest, just nosin’ around.” Mr. Leon might be the  licensed P.I. around here but as far as Eddie was concerned this was his investigation. “When did you get here anyway?”

“Don’t look now but here come the fuzz.”, Harry said nodding in the direction of the double doors that had not seen as much swinging since proprietor Kate’s Three Drink Minimum, 3-D Triple-Feature Thirst-days had been canceled. The promotion had been well received but male patrons routinely forgot to take off their cardboard glasses on their frequent and increasingly less accurate visits to the men’s room.  

Lieutenant Phillips was first through the doors followed closely by Sergeant Stine and they by three more uniforms. “OK folks, I’m not sure just what’s been on around here but I have a dead man in the projection booth, a ladies' restroom that looks a bit like the Tate’s place after a weekend with Charlie and one missing movie reviewer. We’ll be needing statements from the lot of you, so please get comfortable.” Paul Phillips, known as The Constable even though his accent was Australian rather than British was a no-nonsense and for the most part a fair and effective policeman.  “OK people, you heard the Captain,” Sergeant Daniel Stine barked. He had been passed over for Lieutenant in favor of his new boss and referred to him as Captain sarcastically. “Have a seat and one of the officers will be with you for any information you can lend.”

Zelda was first to speak up offering, “Lieutenant, the professor was just about to shed some light, I think is how he put it, Prof?” All eyes turned to the balcony  in time to see The Prof’s candle flicker out cloaking the balcony in utter darkness. “Prof . . . Professor?”

* C * L * I * F * F * H * A * N * G * E * R * !

* AT THE BIJOU * 

Please return to next Saturday's Matinee

for the next gut-gripping epic'sode!

" The Prints and The Popper "

THE PRINTS AND THE POPPER ~ By Absolutely*Kate and Harry B. Sanderford of Harbinger*33

THE PRINTS
AND

THE POPPER

BY
~ Absolutely*Kate

AND 
Harry B. Sanderford

with Matt Magda plot turns

By all appearances, Eddie led a quiet life. He attended Mathews High School where he was junior class treasurer. He dated Mary Lou Jennings and had a special spot to park his car at McDonald's when the gang went out for quarter-pounders, fries and chocolate shakes after basketball games. He liked how it angled them into the shadows where Mary Lou's hand lingered in his. He worked after school on Tuesdays, Thursdays and weekend matinees AT THE BIJOU. Like I said, by all appearances, Eddie led a quiet typical teenage life.

Eddie was excited about going to work on this particular Tuesday because just yesterday his Super Spy Private Eye Finger-Printing Kit had finally arrived in the mail. He’d ordered it from the back of his Super Spy Private Eye magazine and he aimed to put it right to use. Chief among his duties AT THE BIJOU were: popping the popcorn, making sure the butter flavoring and nacho cheese dispensers were topped off, and that the napkin dispensers were never empty. Folks' fingers get good and greasy grubbing on a BIJOU Double-Feature Bucket.

On this particular Tuesday, fate was twisting a churn into Eddie's good news day. He'd hurried through the poppin' and had it all fluffy light and flyin' high the way Ms Kate had explained Ms Carrie favoured it. And God and the local Phantom knows Ms Carrie was the biggest popcorn clutching customer AT THE BIJOU ever did see. He liked her. She always tipped him an extra buck, leaned in and shared him somethin' scary about how she knew what she knew and then whispered, "Listen Popper, don't tell our Ms Kate I told you that. She likes a world where bad guys don't kill everyone off." How he laughed at that. Ms Carrie sure knew Ms Kate alright. So with a grin on his face and his duties easily covered all over the place, Eddie slid comfortably into the seat in the back red velvet row he favoured when bringin' Mary Lou around. More smoochability, y'know. 

With an anticipatory sigh, Eddie slid this month's issue of  Super Spy Private Eye from his hip pocket, smoothing it flat. Ms Kate said he could do what he wanted 'round the BIJOU when what he had to take care of was taken care of,  just so long as he kept a watchful eye on things. She trusted him that way, and guldurn if he'd ever let her down. Now though, he wanted to go over the directions one more time on how to shake and spread powder from his Super Private Eye Finger-Printing Kit, tucked safe on the top shelf back in his locker in the staff room. The handy-dandy silver magnifying glass, in his other Wrangler pocket was waiting steady for Eddy to finally use it, and boy oh boy was he itchin' to do just that. Impress Mary Lou too with his deducing ways to figure a situation out.

While he was hunched over page 33, he could tell without much deducing powers at all that Ms Jeanette was waltzin' in to the theatre. Eddie tipped his touseled mop of hair along with the appreciative twinkle young man eyes shall ever hold for a real lady's graceful glide. Hers was always to the 9th row where she enjoyed all the action of reviewing every show, telling whomever would listen that life was like innings and you had to let the full game play out to really know the score. Eddie figured Ms Jeanette always knew the score. And like most others, he was fond of her caring ways.

"How are you keeping your grades up Eddie? Mary Lou treating you nice and sweet?" 

He gave her usual quick wink a smug smile and a thumbs-up, remembering that thing his Mom said when sprayin' on perfume before a big dinner date with Dad. Even bein' a mom, she still knew how to let her eyelashes do their business and would say real soft when Dad came up behind her, "My Windsong will stay on your mind." Wonder if that's what Ms Jeanette had squirted all over herself. He could always tell when she was shifting seats, turning in her greets to other regulars AT THE BIJOU. It was a real pretty smell that went swell with how she laughed. All the other BIJOU folk liked that too.

THE SCREAM CUT THROUGH ALL HIS CAREFUL CONCENTRATION ~ more high-pitched than any movie sound could move around the surround-sound system that Mr Harry had set up to make folks' listening pleasure all the more jumpier. Mr Harry was like that too ~ always tryin' somethin' new out. Boy oh boy, man oh man, Eddie sure wished Mr Har was jawin' jokes in the staff room today, 'cause he woulda liked another sturdy feller handy to investigate the blood curdle of that freakin' sound. Yikes! Ms Jeanette was down front. He'd better jump into action and check things out!

The scream came from behind him so Eddie told Ms Jeanette to sit tight and sprinted  up the aisle for the lobby.  Bursting through the double doors he found Sugar scooping Milk Duds back into the box from the counter where they’d spilled.  “Are you alright Ms Sugar?”,  Eddie asked hoping to appear calm, something he never found easy to do around Ms Sugar. 

“Other than scattering a brand new box of my favorite candy all over I’m fine. What the heck was that?  Just about scared the pants right off me!”  The image this conjured was not helping Eddie with his outward calm.

"Well if it wasn't you, and it wasn't Jeanette..." the boy detective thought out loud.

“Are you alright is maybe a better question? Why you look like you’ve seen a ghost,”  Sugar was teasing but it hit them both at the same time. 

“The phantom of THE BIJOU!”  They aha-ed in unison.

Eddie bolted for the projection booth stairs. Sugar vaulted the candy counter and followed close behind. Eddie covered the red carpet two stairs at a time but Sugar was no slouch; he could feel her pretty close on his Nikes. Their gasp was collective. The greasy grisly scene on the floor  before them floored them. A body sprawled face down. A tub of buttery BIJOU popcorn adding spill to sprawl, already on the congeal. Eddie's hand jutting towards the contorted body of what looked like or was the new projectionist was stopped in mid-jut to Sparky Denton's blue denim sleeve by Sugar's  high pitch squeal.

"Don't you DARE touch Sparky, Eddie! Who knows what's happened here?! Call 911, c'mon hurry!"

Eddie whipped out his Droid as sexy Sugar's more motherly side kicked into gear, body-blocking his view, swift-glancing for a discernible clue, steering the boy clear of what appeared to be death by popcorn. The low hum of the projector accompanied the still rolling film, a 1945 rare noir cut of Detour, which Jeanette had requested before the regular crowds rolled in for Tuesday's packed-house Double*Feature. Long'ago heart-throb actor Tom Neal playing nightclub pianist Al Roberts let loose his cynical worldview snipe: "That's life. Whichever way you turn, fate sticks out a foot to trip you."

"Yep, Al, someone sure took a face-smack here", Sugar mumble-quipped back while her mind sizzled in fast-forward mode -- determining the most logical way to proceed, keep Eddie calm and both of them safe.

Eddie's thoughts, now that the dispatcher had assured him help was speeding on its way, were turning over the most logical way to proceed, to keep Ms Sugar calm and both of them safe. He couldn't suppress the grin though when Sugar couldn't suppress her habit to mimic movie stars. In perfect Ann Savage pitch, with hand to hip, she became Vera the hitchhiker: "Life's like a ball game. You gotta take a swing at whatever comes along before you wake up and find it's the ninth inning."

"THE 9th INNING! THE 9th ROW! JEANETTE!!", their thinking and their hepped-up voices aha'd unison once again, before Eddie's magnifier had a chance of a glance to hone in on the suspicious spittle around the sparkless Sparky to confirm his guess that suspicious could be malicious . . . The deducing duo were off on a tear down the stairs once again. Sirens were heard and sounding closer, but their heads and hearts were headed in another direction away from the main doors, back to the theatre. 

Police, fire and paramedics poured through the front doors as Sugar and Eddie hit the bottom stair. Eddie pointed back up to the projection room shouting, “It’s Sparky, he’s up there!”, without breaking his stride. Sugar hit the double doors first and Eddie was through before they could swing shut behind her. In the ninth row Eddie picked up Ms Jeanette’s Mead Square-Deal journal from the seat with her favorite blue Montblanc Starwalker still clipped to the cover. A single drop of indigo fell from the pen and landing squarely on the armrest, mingled with the drops of crimson already there. Ms Jeanette was nowhere to be found.

* C * L * I * F * F * H * A * N * G * E * R * !

* AT THE BIJOU * 

Please return to next Saturday's Matinee

for the next gut-gripping epic'sode!

" The Prints and The Popper "