Saturday, March 20, 2010

THE PRINTS AND THE POPPER ~ Epic*sode 3: "Groping Against Grope" ~ By Absolutely*Kate and Harry B. Sanderford of Harbinger*33



~ ~ EPIC*SODE 3 ~ ~

"Groping Against Grope"

~ By Absolutely*Kate 
Harry B. Sanderford

With all eyes batting 20/20 at the balcony, Eddie silently hustled his backside in motion, carefully, carefully . . . when he reached it, sliding ass'wise backwards against the BIJOU wall, his fingers went on the grope for the woodmolding Ms Kate had wallpapered over to conceal a doorway that only the staff really knew existed. She kept trying to get everyone to call it the wallway and he had to admit, it was catchy enough to catch on. Ms Kate was like that with words that took more a turn to meaning what they said. Ms Kate was also rather fond of folks havin' a good laughin' time AT THE BIJOU. Though she loved edge-of-the-seat excitable action, Eddie the Popcorn Popper, intrinsic boy detective, knew it took no Sherlock-brains to decipher she would consider the screamin', dying, bloody messes and disappearing acts goin' way too far on the topple over the top. He had to get to his locker in the staff room for the Super Spy Private Eye fingerprinting kit stashed safely on the top shelf. He could be and should be the one to figure all these disturbing goings-on out, make AT THE BIJOU safe and entertainingly happy the way Ms Kate joyed at it most. He might still be a junior at Mathews High School, but guldarnit, he was going to give it the college try now!

Whewww, through the wallway into the BIJOU lobby behind Ms Sugar's Candy*Land! He made it! With all the ruckus still wreaking the other side of the double doors to the main theatre, this was a clean getaway. Remembering Mr Leon's patronizing PI talk, Eddie smirked, patted his pocket's slight bulge from his purge below Ms Jeanette's special Row #9, and walked a frenzy of a hurry into how he walked his walk.

"Is that a pistol in your pocket or are you just glad to see me, Ed?", mugged the warm stance and teasin' temptin' smile-style of his main squeeze, Mary Lou. "WHATEVER is goin' on with all the police vehicles blockin' the BIJOU? I came 'round back, parkin' next to your Charger, like you tole me I should when I get a chance. Dairy Queen's grand season-opening is such a delicious success that Mr Martin gave us hour shift breaks and said to come back and scoop double duty into the evening hours. So what's the scoop here, and you gonna smooch me or what?" 

Eddie gave her a distracted smack and when her reflexive deflection met thin air rather than Eddie’s customary grab at a grope, Mary Lou knew something big was up. Lord help Eddie if they ever dusted Mary Lou for prints. “You know, I didn’t have to come here on my break.”, she said giving him a push and snapping her gum.

“Aw c’mon, I’m sorry baby.” He tried groping in earnest now but she was a ninja. It was too little, too late. Eddie fished the object he’d found beneath Jeanette’s chair out of his pocket and held it up for her to see. I am glad to see you Mary Lou, but it wasn’t a pistol in my pocket.

“You got an IPhone!”, she squealed with glee beyond any rational explanation. Eddie, his hands suddenly quite full of Mary Lou, would hold off breaking the news that it was technically evidence
 ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

When The Prof failed to respond to the second round of queries Harry decided it was time to shine some light of his own. He headed for the balcony stairs followed by Sergeant Stine. Lieutenant Philips signaled and the uniformed officers snapped to action, joining the procession up the stairs. In his haste Harry banged his knee into the arm of the first chair and cursing an inspired streak of mostly matriarchal familial vulgarities, hopped the rest of the way to the far wall and switched on the lights. The illumination revealed only what Sergeant Stine had suspected in the dark. The candle holder and its extinguished waxy stub stood on the armrest between seats 4 and 5 in Row 2. The Professor, was not standing. 

Sergeant Stine nudged him with his boot and the beloved BIJOU academic roused, muttering, "Let not the perfect be the enemy of the good!"  

Stine called down to the constable, “Better grab one of those medics before they clear out.” Stine knelt down to the prone Prof, "Better tell me slow and low what you mean by that mutter Matt, before too many on the scene misconstrue what should be safe between . . . just me and you."

Sugar took Zelda to the Gent’s Room to help her clean up and calm down. Lieutenant Phillips instructed the patrolmen to scour every inch of the balcony, if there was a jujube he wanted it tagged. Leon was the only one to take a head count and notice Eddie’s absence and in his spectral way found the shadows and created his own.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Meanwhile, as the two young lovers grappled in their gropings unaware, a struggle of a more untangling nature was chiseling away the knot at wit's end. A woman in her right mind with an emery board in her left pocket can always get by, a determined dame on the ropes, undaunted by how circumstances had tied up her day to what felt like a New Hampshire Hitchcock, given the back back slat and pillow placement, reeled in self preservation ambiance. 

Thoughts back and forth, thoughts forth and back, the orangewood emery board pressing in the same progressive rhythms to its unravel of what felt liketheatre cords before an opening gala? Hard to be certain, blindfolded as she was, but whatever her binds, They do seem looser, a no longer tightly strung Jeanette gleefully assessedWith just a few more strands undone, I might just be able to wriggle my wrist free and get to my I-phone pocket!

* C * L * I * F * F * H * A * N * G * E * R * !


Please return to next Saturday's Matinee
for the next gut-gripping epic'sode!

" The Prints and The Popper "


Anonymous said...

You know Jeanette needs her phone and a pepsi. And if there are any M&M peanuts left at the counter...would someone pop a few in her mouth. CUTE

Wendy said...

Oh, Jeanette, I just ran in for a few minutes to restock the concession...hold on, Dear, I'll grab you a few M&Ms. What with all that filing 'n all, you must be exhausted!! Ain't Kater and Har the best?

Kate Pilarcik ~ absolutely said...

"Aw Shucks", said Kater and Har in unison.

Crybbe666 said...

"...he had to admit, it was catchy enough to catch on."

Smart man, that Eddie. This tale is very catchy, kinda like a good virus. One I am happy to come down with every Sunday!! (Allowing for time difference, makes no difference to me.)

Great episode, Kate & Har...see you both next week!

Carrie Clevenger said...

Hahah! This is just fab!

Harry said...

Thanks for catching the show you guys. Kate and I will unravel another skein of this yarn next week!

Laurita said...

More fun than an iPhone anyday. Can't wait for next week's episode. Dun dun duuuuuuun.

Matthew S. Magda said...

Well, I would say that you have not let the perfect be the enemy of the good; indeed, you have shown how your good tale can provide perfect delight Can't wait to know if Jeanette finds that I-phone in her pocket. Will Mary Lou be disappointed by Eddie's evidence? The Bijou will reveal all!

Jodi MacArthur said...

the two young lovers grappled in their gropings unaware ~ this made me giggle out loud. You two are so fun fun funny. I really like the Hitchcock Entrance sign too!

Madam Z said...

This is so much fun! I especially love Eddie's "Super Spy Private Eye" fingerprinting kit" and "Lord help Eddie if they ever dusted Mary Lou for prints."

Mal said...

Gosh Lassie Kate you have done such a great job here at the Bijou, and have managed to create so much fun & laughter , especially with the young lovers gropings were just so funny, hearty congratulations.