RatPack break
to Flash
Fiction
with the Friday

WHERE I MET HER
![]() |
POUGHKEEPSIE'S PATOOTIE |
Betty's Burlesque on Broad was the best. As a matter of fact, Betty's Burlesque brought in out-of-towners better than anybody's business. Pete down at the Pickadilly Pub loved the trickle-down crowds that Betty's packin' 'em in brought in to his jivey gin joint. Matter o'fact, it was while bumping gums at Pete's over a Pabst that Betty first introduced me to the ringer of a southern belle she brought up north. When she slipped me five over our Howd'ya do's, I knew this dame was one smooth patootie.
Poughkeepsie never saw the likes like anything like Fanny Lights. I'm not talkin' off the cob -- that was her snazzy stage name, Keen-o huh? And Fanny was one hot tomato catchin' up her moniker to top the line-up and shine in all the best lights, lemme tell ya.
I was one of the new canary hoofers on the block when Fanny lit up Poughkeepsie. Hell, parts of Albany still regale funny Fanny tales. She flounced a bendover flourish to her finish that had the fellers stompin' their clodhoppers for encores when encores were over. I'm tellin' ya - ya had to see it to believe it, and you always remembered it after that.
![]() |
NOTHING LIKE LUSCIOUS ... LINGERING |
Luck o'the draw I got the makeup table next to hers. Me? I just had the basics of a rouge and Maybelline kit Ma worked up with a tube of Luscious Linger Revlon thrown in for pizazz, but Fanny? WhoooBoy! Did she come satin and gold stitched makeup bag loaded! There was dusting powder and glittery powder and a special perfumy soft white talcum she puffed on her bum. Said it made her twirl faster, just knowin' she was feelin' it there. And could Fanny twirl her fanny! WhoooBoy!
~ ~ ~
![]() |
SWEET "SUGAR IN MY BOWL" |
There was a signature song that did belong to how Sandusky Sammi's dance went along. Fifi Royale, who was the first muffin I met who knew brunos from the hoosegow, would twitch her hip gyrations to it too, then beam her cleavage practically downtown to the boys in the back row. That number was always worth a good hoot and holler gettin' a whole lot more than what a ticket for a dollar bought those days. The song was "Sugar in My Bowl", you know, the Bessie Smith version. Well Sammi gave the sweetest striptease you please to that one. Things weren't eggs in the coffee smooth no more though when Fanny got it in her noggin that showstoppering should be mainly her gig. "Lament", she wanted Gus in the little combo down front to really lay out. With a honey cooler to the smacker, she sweet-talked Gus to table "Sugar in My Bowl". As you can imagine, that kibosh arrangement was no happy place setting with Sammi.
![]() |
OH THAT MR PARKINS. HE'S NO ANGEL. |
![]() |
THE LIGHTS FANNY-TASTIC SPARKED! |
Man oh man! Did Fanny Lights hit her mark and spark that night. I felt the room swayin' and the band playin' -- wait, sorry, that's just Satchmo on my mind, occupational habit, it happens all the time. Thing was, with all the twitchin' goin' on 'round all the twirling drivin' the crowds frenzy-crazy, Fanny caught the roving eye of a tall lanky looker in the front row. Tom somethin', it'll come to me later. The fella was an optometrist salesman takin' a load off his satchel toting for what pleasures an evening in Poughkeepsie could presumably offer.
To make a long story just a tad shorter, he sought the pleasures that Poughkeepsie's best at Betty's Burlesque had to offer. Hung out 'round back by the stage door and offered to make Fanny an offer down on bended knee that she couldn't refuse. Ya shoulda got a gander at how this guy's peepers spelled s-i-n-c-e-r-i-t-y. It was scrumpdiddlylicious and sooooo romantical. Could'ya guess? Fanny said "yes," and made tracks to catch the train to become Tom's first rate mate. Oh yeah, it's comin' to me now. Cheezum, that was the fine feller's last name.
~ ~ ~
I heard she's using a fancified version of her name now and scrawling stories into real page-turners from down South. Gee Whilikers, wonder if our paths will ever cross again, huh? Well, it's almost time for the show to go on again and I'll be darned if Katie May Storm isn't going to perform. Me? I'm like a tempest. I kept Fanny's glitter powder. I figgered if I use just a little right here 'neath the lacy stitchery balancing on my nipples I'd create my own sheen to the scene.
I'm no Fanny,
but Betty said it woiks.
Oh, and Sandusky Sammi is swingin' to "Sugar In My Bowl" for our Saturday night finales.
Every story has
its own sweet ending.
(c) 2011 ~ Author Absolutely*Kate,
believing in showstoppering AT THE BIJOU
PHOTO CREDITS: Alastair Middleton @pub;
Pascal Pino @Lingering Luscious & Mr Parkins;
John Sexton @"Sugar In My Bowl" choreography;
KT Bell @Fanny Lights and my own sweet ending.
HEY there!
Catch my act over at Jeanette Cheezum's
'Cavalcadeofthestars' joint come next Tuesday.
Be sure to bring your clodhoppers, hear?
~ NOW ~
BACK TO OUR FINAL ACTS
RAT PACK SHOWS
PLAYING AT THE BIJOU
RAT
PACK
REVUE
Tuesdays.
Thursdays.
Sunday Matinees too.
Be there or be square.
RAT
PACK
REVUE
"Dig it you cool cats!"
~ Absolutely*Kate
and our snazzy staff of renown