Thursday, November 19, 2009

D. A. E. ~ by John Wiswell of Harbinger*33

BRIDGING WORLDS, BUT VIA HIS OWN PERSPECTIVE, is the John Wiswell who brings about the guffaw and not the gaffe . . . he who turns out unconventional tale after twistified tale ~ thereby gusting our laugh. John sends a Bathroom Monologue's piece from his old Perspectives line, fake news items that provide a weird perspective on something . . .


Lascivious Ladies
and Rebel Rogues
*** NOW PLAYING ****
*** AT THE BIJOU ***


D.A.E.
~ by the far flung murky-mirth of John Wiswell

Demons Against Exorcism is a grassroots organization that is either entirely composed of demons or has no demons at all, depending on how skeptical you are. The demons in question have 100% willing and agreeable hosts who do not want to see their companions evicted.

“It’s my body, my choice,” says Sarah Stockman, who will have been possessed for six years next month. Her parents were initially uncomfortable with her lifestyle, but grew to accept it after her demon ceased making her writhe in public. Following a popular tolerant trend, the Stockmans have nothing against writhing in private.

The demons provide no rent, being incorporeal and generally bad at finances. Unlike poltergeists, they are not very helpful at moving things around the house.

“A possession isn’t a business relationship,” says Paul Pensly, who has been passionately possessed for two years and doesn’t see the honeymoon enthusiasm fading. “It’s about companionship, knowing this infernal buddy of mine will be there when I’ve had a long day, lost a bar fight, or whenever I just need to talk. I never go to the movies alone now."

Some people do note advantages to the possessions, however. Sarah Stockman landed a job in the Foreign Languages department of a community college thanks to her ability to speak in tongues. An anonymous Indian-American possessee in Ohio claims his demon once possessed Aristotle and now helps him breeze through textbooks. College Board is currently devising a counter-demon measure to prevent possession-based cheating on its SAT exams, a measure Demons Against Exorcism calls "the worst kind of bigotry."

(c) John Wiswell

"There you go. Hope it helped you laugh,
to balance out the recent sadness
my circumstances have caused you.

I haven't enjoyed them much either.

"I appreciate AT THE BIJOU's request to highlight my work. Any attention is good attention. Just a shame I won't be around to field the comments and/or complaints over my piece. I don't know how far the pledge drive can go, but it's already surpassed my expectations by passing 10%. There are some wonderfully generous people out there. " ~ John

JOHN WISWELL'S SURGERY IS TOMORROW, Friday, November 20th.John's relating of the surgery over his neuromuscular condition is here and the pledge drive donation fund is here. If your heart or circumstances have the ability to help this cause, then go for it.

Life is all about relationships ~ borrowing a scrawl from John's bio wall, "
The constant, unmedicatable pain has left me with a good sense of humor and humility. It's also left me with some ridiculous beliefs, such as that you've got to keep the good people you find, no matter where they were born or what logo is on their shirt. I firmly believe we need a sense of humor in everything, not only making fun of what we hate or would like to change, but what we hold most dear."

To me, aboard the Harbinger*33, John IS gentle wisdom, wild wit and sharp perspective, a new friend to no end. His words have joyed me and he even joined my ESPN pigskins pickem's group with some of the sportier sailors on the upper deck. Now that's a lot of yardage. Likewise in yardage are wide pass patterns John's trusty keyboard has rifle-armed to over 20 magazines, websites and contests. Past that mixed metaphor, we're all rooting for the Wis to score!

Prayers and good, good, good vibrations are around you John . . . Honoured we all are that your keen view of life hails aboard Harbinger*33, sailing to its publishing journey of manifesting destinies.

~ FORTITUDE AND HEALING, with FairWinds, Favourable Seas

~ Absolutely*Kate and readers of your distinctive voice all the more

8 comments:

pegjet said...

Joh,

I'm not worthy! This was clever, creative, surprising, exciting and hilarious!

Wow.

quin browne said...

made me laugh... prayers with you tomorrow.

Paul D. Brazill said...

Top man and one of the funniest, cleverest writers around. In a perfect world all sitcoms would be written by John.

John, I KNOW you'll be fine tomorrow. Take it easy, mate.

Crybbe666 said...

What a wonderfully, whacky piece. Loved the comparison to poltergeists...pure gold!!!

All the best John, our thoughts are with you...

Paul and Jesse

Jeanette Cheezum said...

John take your meds and do what the doctor says. We need you back to make us laugh and write more bathroom monologues.

Jodi MacArthur said...

LOL, I loved how her parents were fine with her possession when the demons 'ceased making her writhe in public'. There is always something to be thankful for!

Tomorrow is a blessing, some of your suffering will be removed and you will feel all the better for it.

Recover soon!

Jodi

ps. That has to be one of the greatest bio's I've ever read.

Harry said...

Very funny John! After the doc puts you in stitches you'll no doubt return the favor. Best wishes for a speedy recovery.

Angel Zapata said...

This is absolutely brilliant!

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