Friday, May 6, 2011

A KISS TO BUILD A DREAM ON . . . By Franny's daughter, Absolutely*Kate

" T O G E T H E R   A G A I N "
A KISS TO BUILD A DREAM ON

By Franny's daughter . . . 
Coincidentally, by Paul's daughter too, 
~ Absolutely*Kate



It's inordinately quiet in the house I grew up in. Childhood bedroom doors our enthusiasms pushed open to  jump on each other's beds or share a secret or play another summer round of Monopoly are closed now. People and memories are sleeping, even the ones from the West coast contingent who flew in tonight from their other timezone. 

The youngest brother was here first when I pulled up the long driveway I'd learned to back a 1971 red Camaro out of using only side mirrors. Our first hug mirrored the sides of emotion that dug the depth to devotion of parents who gave life a full-fledged thriving. We acknowledge where words are superfulous that constant laughter churned achievements into places heavens hailed. The younger sister arrived next with the middle brother closest to the Cleveland airport. As he headed an hour's drive home, before his return the next day and the calling hours one after that, and the funeral one after that, and the final family farewells one to be after that, neighbors who were friends and ladies of the church who became extra sisters to our mother, trickled into a gush of how a sensitive stream splashes bounty. 

The care that comes in foil dinner platters tastes unsuspiciously like sausages, rigatoni, cabbage rolls, saucy meatballs and love that begets love. The baked delicacies of pineapple zucchini bread, homemade cinnamon rolls and orange cream pies mingle on the kitchen counter and table where I've arranged yellow tulips from Mom's gardens midst thoughtful breakfast items and even good hearted pizzas and beer. 

Condolence callers come in sad but leave with the kind of light that laughter's resilience rekindles to teary eyes. Both comfort and energy emanate the stuff that hugs are made of, and words no longer need sound to speak their better volumes.  Cheer responds to challenge when we open their share and tender our current trivia query ~ "What was Mom's favorite flower?" (No two same answers have collided - she loved them all. There'll be no clearcut winner, or they all will be, which makes more sense.)

The brother just two years younger than I, whose spirit once mailed me a real tumbleweed just because I marveled at its wonder, lands after midnight at the Pittsburgh airport. More family from the sister burst in a few hours ago, rejoined generational joy. More stories swapped. A toast to Franny, clinked 'round the kitchen table. My childrenfolk and love take to the road before and just after the crack of dawn's early light. The more we're together, the more we sense Mom's alright.

She wrote the input 
for her own obituary here.


Yes, on a typically sad page where the news is dying, our Mother, Frances Kozel Pilarcik inserted a photo of her with Dad under the heading "Together Again".


God Bless the Lady who held the hand
and kissed away the tears.


And God bless all of you,
whose worldwide webbing reach
is so touching . . . 

 You've bolstered me,
for the hurts and healing
of the next two 'morrows.

 Good Night. I sleep perchance to dream
of the beginnings this sleeping house shares.

Love, 
~ Absolutely*Kate


13 comments:

Col Bury said...

Kate,
Very touching. My heartfelt condolences go with you. Sounds like your Mum had a great life.
Cherish those wonderful memories.
Regards,
Col
x

Julie Lewthwaite said...

Kate, that is so moving, and so very heartwarming, too. All the love from family and friends coming together to remember Franny - and Paul, too, of course - would light up the whole city.

Your mom and dad were clearly very special people, the kind who make a difference and who leave behind a legacy that lives on. It would have been a pleasure to know them. It feels like a privilege to know of them.

Love and strength to you and yours.

Your friend, Jools

Harry said...

Katie*Girl, your love of family has been so clear to me from the beginning. You are blessed and a blessing. Loved this part, it is so you:
"Condolence callers come in sad but leave with the kind of light that laughter's resilience rekindles to teary eyes. Both comfort and energy emanate the stuff that hugs are made of, and words no longer need sound to speak their better volumes. Cheer responds to challenge when we open their share and tender our current trivia query ~ "What was Mom's favorite flower?" (No two same answers have collided - she loved them all. There'll be no clearcut winner, or they all will be, which makes more sense.)"

And you gotta love a bro who will box up a tumbleweed. :)

Hang in there K*G!

seana said...

Thanks for sharing the moment, Kate. As with my own mom, I feel yours would have been very glad to think of you all gathering together in the home she made.

When it comes round to a lighter time, I would love to know about that trivia club of hers! It's odd that I was just writing about trivia myself in my last blog post on Confessions of Ignorance. I'd be interested in her angle on it all sometime.

Cathy Webster (Olliffe) said...

Ah Kate. Why is it that when one half of a loving couple goes the other half comes so close behind. I don't know but I can guess you're feeling like an orphan right now. Good thing you're surrounded by a big loving family and I'm very glad you're taking care of one another. Take your time with this. Breathe and dream and remember. Cry your heart out. Be good to yourself. Biggest hugs to you.

ABSOLUTELY*KATE said...

i'm as honoured to love you guys as i am the family and especially parents that were/are *core* to so much I am.

Writing this from midnight to 3am was a healing in being able to reach to you all ~ my other world.

I felt what emanated, and will be in touch more next week while staying at the house with just the tumbleweed-sender to drink coffee on Dad's patio and think deep thoughts as we end the chapter called "our home".

Wordless my *thanks* for your share. It's going to be within me as strength tremendously at the funeral home from 3 to 7 today and at Franny's funeral at 10am tomorrow. Have a cup of coffee to Franny and Paul then, will you?

Grace and Gratitude,
~ your Kate

Kevin Michaels said...

Well written and touching across so many levels -like Harry, I loved the part about condolence callers although the imagery of backing up that 1971 red Camaro put this memorial in the right direction.
I think that through you many of us got to know your family - the strength of the love that was shared, the ties that bound you all together, the laughter, the smiles, and the happiness that they created. We all share your loss.

Stay strong and remember the smiles and laughter through the memories. Keeping a thought for Franny and Paul-
K

Who Is Afraid of Alfred Hitchcock? said...

Hi! Absolutely*Kate...
I'am sending my deepest condolence to you, your family, and friends...at this time in your lives.
Take care!
Kate, you are in my thoughts and prayers...always!
DeeDee

Jeanette Cheezum said...

I'll be back to read this. My heart goes out to you and the children.

Glenna said...

I'm very sorry to hear about your mom. My thoughts will be with you and what sounds like a wonderful family.

Jeanette Cheezum said...

Kate, thank you for bringing us along on your one of your saddest days. I know each of you shared great stories and made sure she was laid to rest with love and care. You reminded me of when I lost my own dear Franny.

Hugs

writercrjames said...

A loved one lost, although water to the eyes is a torch to the soul. Time heals all and rememberance is the true place of heaven.I tell my children that so long as those who have left us live in our hearts then they live forever.

Our Thoughts,
Colin and Robyn.

Allie said...

Memories swirl around our childhood homes like ghosts looking for acknowledgment. What a beautiful nod to them and to your special mom.

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