Thursday, January 7, 2010

URBAN LIFE ~ By Michael J. Solender of Harbinger*33

Urban Life
(You can take the boy out of the country ...)

By Michael J. Solender
* Apologies to Mike Whitney

“Quit sulking about honey, I know you miss the Pleistocene era but look at the modern conveniences we have here in the city!” Muffin was trying to soothe her savage beast.

Mongo Jr. was not easily making the transition to Manhattan circa 1972. His father had assured him that he was destined for great things through time travel and would contribute mightily to cultures and civilizations that would otherwise not know of the Cro-borg way.

With a Donna Summer thumping rhythm not-so-faintly wafting in from the neighbor’s balcony, Mongo studied what seemed like small ants 30 stories below on the sidewalk.

“Modern conveniences! That’s a laugh, you can’t even find a decent soup bone to chew on in this town. And the fashion- Sheeze! These bell-bottoms cover up our best features!”

Muffin tried to be patient. “Sweetums, not everyone is attracted to hairy feet, why don’t you come to the spa and get a pedicure with me??”

“Spa? Isn’t that where all you breeding types sit around in oversized soup pot, getting all pink and wrinkled? Last time we went I tried to breed with that one smaller specimen, it not work out so well.”

“Oh that’s right I forgot. Her parents didn’t really quite understand ..probably not a good idea to go back. Why don’t you stay here and watch over the stove, I’m making your favorite,  Tofu Gnu.”

Gnu!! I haven't had Gnu since I crawled out from the rocks at Ma and Pa’s and we hunt for big game - you got some Gnu here in NYC?! But What this Tofu?”

“Put it this way Snuggems, it may not exactly be GNU, but I guarantee that it will be as good as..Gnu!”
 (c) 2010 . . . Author Michael J Solender

The soul of Solender is special to all of us AT THE BIJOU. Rising to an occasion when an occasion knocks on the door and walks in the room, is what my esteemed (never steamed) colleague Michael is all about. On this occasion - MJS "mongo'ized" in swift superb spin'action. (There's no lint in this boy's NOT'head, nope, not at all).

Thanks through time and times again, MJ, fellow writers' presenter of pizazz and all that jazz over at your "Not From Around Here, Are You?" sensational hangout (to call it a blog would be so decaf - and you rumble with robust, buddy). From journalist mind to writer'man so kind, you touch spirits and guffaws ensue. There, that's a damn good thing to say about you. So very honoured you're aboard HARBINGER*33, sailing so many grand authors on to further destiny . . . publishing this year!

~ Absolutely*Kate and our fine staffing
still laughing ~ AT THE BIJOU


EC said...

Definitely 'mongonized' - but I think you've ruined the fantasy of 'sensual and rugged' for me with that photo.
Bizarro galore, Michael.

Kate Pilarcik ~ absolutely said...

I *enhanced* the sensation of 'sensual and rugged' for Me with that photo, Ms Cole ... I keep urging Michael to re'Mongo just so I can strut that feller's stuff back out ... Mmmm mmmm

Kate Pilarcik ~ absolutely said...

(( Well - Michael's Mongo-impressionaries are really damn good too, but I noticed we don't need to use the thermostat so much AT THE BIJOU when the womenfolk are doing their heavy breathing sighhhs when that version of the Mongo cave'stud is one of our screen-gems. ))

~ Absolutely*Kate and the staff of (sighing) renown AT THE BIJOU

Linda said...


Though I confess... hard to concentrate on the words... my eyes kept wandering... Peace, Linda

Lee Hughes said...

Great writing Mike, had me chuckling. Although Kate, I prefer it if you ask me first before bandying my picture over the Bijou!

Crybbe666 said...

Great job, Michael. Laughed at the thought Mongo Jr dancin' to Donna Summer (especially dressed the way he is)...the Gnu jokes were, well...GNU!!!

Kate Pilarcik ~ absolutely said...

Hey - everything old is GNU again where the man with a nose for gnus, Mr Solender is concerned.

YIKES LEE! I didn't think you'd mind the bandying about your pic AT THE BIJOU -- I "did" scrawl your cellphone# in Tasty Temptress lipstick on all the posters of you 'hung' in the Ladies room . . . your pocket should be ringing soon.

~ Absolutely*Kate,
just promoting to when 'some like it hot' AT THE BIJOU

Kate Pilarcik ~ absolutely said...

And Paulie,

Mongo Jr wouldn't just 'dance' to Donna Summers - I think he gyrates. ~ Kate