Tuesday, December 1, 2009

The Return of the Prodigal Son by Michael J. Solender of Harbinger*33



By Michael J. Solender –

Apologies to Mike Whitney

So many years had passed since Mongo Junior’s exodus from the humble cave where he once broke boulders into gravel that he scarcely recognized the place. He strode quietly to the front door with his new bride soaking it all in. The aroma of freshly hunted Emu grilling on the spit indoors filled the air. He was home.

When his parents had learned of Junior’s recent betrothal, all past indiscretions were forgotten and the welcome stone was placed out for his return.

Barely halfway into the stucco plastered dwelling Junior and his Mrs. were greeted by the long furrow in Mongo’s cantilevered brow. It was deep enough for lichens and other mold spore to take hold there, and hold they had taken. The resulting greenish hue gave Mongo a supernatural glow that was off-putting to quadrupeds of all varieties but was an aphrodisiac of sorts to Bev, Mongo’s wife.

"Son!" Mongo was grunting, "What has that city life done to you, you barely have any facial hair or traditional family markings??"

It was as if they had never met before but an eerie familiarity greeted them as they sized each other up face to face for the first time in dozens of years.

"Pops!" Junior exclaimed. "It is great to be back, this is my new bride Muffin."

"Strange name this Muffin. Though, you seem to have done well for yourself." Mongo was eying Junior’s stalwart cave mate up and down and up again. "She’ll likely make for fine offspring, this one, definitely a breeder!"

"Actually Pops, breeding excessively is frowned upon in the future state from which we visit you. In fact procreation decisions are left almost exclusively to the female of the species. My role is simply to perform upon command!"

"Wha!! Whazzatt you say . . . no hair pulling? No chest beating? What kind of future is this??"

Mongo was incredulous. He could not believe what he was hearing.

"It is best if you keep your woman away from Bev. Far away. She already has much strange ideas…this one of yours…Muffin from the future…Mongo and Bev, we are simply not prepared for her kind!"

"Don’t worry Pops," Mongo Junior smiled wryly as he handed several blue diamond shaped tablets to his father. "One of these accompanying any request from mom and you’re ready for anything! Just let me know if things ..uh..stay up..uh..for more than four hours."

"Four hours…??? Maybe the future not so bad after all…."

© Michael J Solender . . . 2009


Mike Whitney said...

Future not bad at all.

Mongo glances over his shoulder and ducks as pterodactyl swoops low, missing a clean-and-jerk loin cloth snatch by inches.

Paul D Brazill said...

Arf. Very good.

Harry said...

Like a chip off the old Mongo. Double your Mikes double your fun!

Kate Pilarcik ~ absolutely said...

Man oh cave'man, MJ ~ the delight was in the details: the aroma of freshly hunted Emu ... the welcome stone of course . . . the lichens and mold spore to supernatural aphrodesiac glow ... and then -- the name Muffin. I think the Mongo Sorcerer has found his Mongo creative apprentice. You mopped the place up with the swish of your magic. ~ Absolutely*Kate

Anonymous said...

Mikey, thanks for the explanations. Now I have to say...whomever brought Jr.s picture to the party did my eyes some good. Fun read.

Unknown said...

That pic scared me... So glad to see Mongo and his kin (live on)

Kate Pilarcik ~ absolutely said...

Hey! I brought that picture to the party and shall have posters made with Jeanette's name tattooed somewhere exquisite. We'll sell them like hotcakes and pet'rocks outta Bedrock and give some of the proceeds to the Wiswell-Be-Well fund, and use the rest to end world hunger. OK by youse guys?

The Bukowski Bomber up there is just jealous that we didn't use the pic out of his high'school yearbook which was not that far off from this one, give or take a wardrobe change.

See MJ -- what you started?
Now everyone will be wanting to do Mongo sequels to keep him alive and kickin' and breeding . . . You done good, Writer'Guy. ~ Absolutely*Kate and THE BIJOU jaunty staff

Gerry Hatrić said...

Got me blue tablets. Now about that request... oh, she's busy.

Laurita said...

I think we could all use a future with less hair pulling. Great job.

Jodi MacArthur said...

LOL. Do you think fine offspring is due to the little blue pills? Funny write, Mike.

Anonymous said...

You guys are so much fun. LOL

Kate Pilarcik ~ absolutely said...

Jeanette? You'd expect any less?

As the Goddess Mother of Brilliant Authors you certainly raised the bar for us. Once Mike & Mike (and Mull and Harry and Ant and Paul and of course those lushes Laurita and Jodi knew there was an open bar . . . well, it was all over ... an en-riching pour.