Tuesday, February 9, 2010

AT DAY'S END ~ By Jeanette Cheezum of Harbinger*33


At Days End
By ~ Jeanette Cheezum

Work had been a bitch today. Traffic was backed up for three miles along the freeway. Heat waves tried to escape from the asphalt, but vehicles held them imprisoned. Pamela knew this scenario all too well, she plugged in her Ipod and leaned back. Time to review her planner; pick up Lee and June at six PM get the laundry before they close and order take out. She knew if the traffic started to move soon she would be able to do everything on her list.

***

With the laundry stowed in the trunk and her children eagerly telling her of their day all she had to do now was pick up dinner. When they drove up to the Pampered Pantry the valet held out his hand for the keys.

“I’m just going to be a minute and there are plenty of spots, can’t I park it myself?”

“No Ma’am you know the rules.”

“Oh all right--come on kids help me carry the food.”

She relinquished the keys and they entered the restaurant.

Little hands helped hold aroma filled cartons and they left the restaurant.

Another valet stood ready to retrieve their car.

 “The beige Mercedes,” she said.

He held out his hand for her claim ticket.

My hands are full; I’ll give you a tip when I can set this food down.”

In a stern voice, “I need the claim ticket.

Pamela looked puzzled. “He didn’t give me a ticket.”

 “Who didn’t give you a ticket?” The valet asked.

“The other valet,” she said.

“Lady, there is no other valet.”

The End

(c) 2010 ~ Author Jeanette Cheezum

At day's end, I like to know Jeanette Cheezum, self-acclaimed Goddess Mother of Brilliant Authors, is around. Ahh, and there she is, juggling all the plates like the spinning-toppling acts of the Ed Sullivan show ~ the hits just keep coming. From a founding goddess-scribe of The Hampton Roads Writers to a plethora of featured ink from 6 to Blink Ink, Vox Poetica and Smith Magazine, floating on to Helium and shedding light, with a Gather into the Gloom Cupboard, this lady with class and distinction certainly gets around. 

We're so glad she's made AT THE BIJOU one of her regular home-stages for trying out new acts. Did I mention she has a colourful past as a chorus girl? (You'll have to ask her about that). She's a blessing to me, wherever her spirit dances.

Thank*you Jeanette, for the dedication and encouragement you bring to us all aboard the mighty HARBINGER*33 as well as most street corners we desire around WebTown.

~ Absolutely*Kate
and the fine staff of renown,
AT THE BIJOU

14 comments:

Daniel said...

Man, that valet dude got away with a beige Mercedes and an Ipod. I always have wondered how man cars get ripped that way. Nice write Jeanette. It was a pleasure pairing up with you at the Bijou.

Carrie said...

Well done Jeanette! Good to see you again. :)

Michael Solender said...

Oops - at least she got dinner outa the deal. Nice twist Cheezy!

Jeanette Cheezum said...

Daniel, good to pair with you even though I'm not in China.

Carrie, nice hear from you.

Mikey, my bud, always thinking of food. :)

Thanks, to you three. Always a scream At The Bijou.

Absolutely*Kate said...

"Always a scream At The Bijou", the lovely lady with the single yellow rose in her hand said. (I don't ever argue with the Goddess Mother of Brilliant Authors). A brilliant author just outside of her own Mercedes, she certainly took a tale for a non'joy ride, in character and mood and ... as usual, you feel you're riding in the back seat of a Cheezum expressive "tell". (Only this time, she lost the back'seat to up front judgement.)

The single yellow rose? It means *Happiness* most theatre people knows. Fanny Brice taught me that. I wanta be a Ziegfeld Goil, I do.

HAPPY BIJOU TO YOU, double*feature dame Jeanette. Thanks for comin' back -- Miss Carrie is officially in charge of the popcorn machine now, and shall keep you plentified. (Yes, it's true - she buttered up the original vendor). ~ Absolutely*Kate, off to see your dashing costar

Crybbe666 said...

Jeanette, the twist at the end was nice but I loved the opening paragraph, especially describing the heat.
Maybe you an ask Daniel's character to find your Merc. He seems to know his way around the streets.

Absolutely*Kate said...

Neat solution, Paulie. You'll be writing 'happy endings' before you know it! (I read it in your diary - you left it in the 3rd row). ~ K

Kevin Michaels said...

Nice write Jeanette and good story - very well done. Love the beginning and the way this flowed - it had a nice flow/feeling with a little twist at the end that catches you unprepared.
KM

Laurita said...

I think if I were in that situation something very unladylike would have slipped from my lips. Well done, Jeanette.

Pamila Payne said...

Well, I didn't see that coming, and sadly, neither did she. Nice work Jeanette.

Jeanette Cheezum said...

You guys are the greatest. Thank you!

L J Davenport said...

Jeanette, I like your story for two reasons. One because of the clever way it is written, the other because I always knew there was a reason I didn't like valet parking....

Jeanette Cheezum said...

Yes, Leon, this makes you wonder. Thank You!

Harry said...

And she was so close to the finish line. I'm with Michael, at least the thief got the laundry and not the grub. Very nice Jeanette!

There was an error in this gadget