Sunday, July 11, 2010

THE PRINTS AND THE POPPER ~ ~ Epic*sode 15 ~ "A WISE ASS" ~ By Absolutely*Kate and Harry B. Sanderford of Harbinger*33




"I read
 the news
 oh boy"

Saaaaay --
Just Click Epic*sodes:
Epic'sode 14 ~ A Wrinkle in Time
Epic'sode 13 ~ Lucky For You?
Epic'sode 12 ~ Midnight Cowboy
Epic'sode 11 ~ The Shadow Knows
Epic'sode 10 ~ The Pissing Match
 Epic'sode 9 ~ Chain, Chain, Chain 
Epic'sode 8 ~ Too Cool!
Epic'sode 7 ~ Meet Virginia
Epic'sode 6 ~ I See the Light
Epic'sode 5 ~ Lucky Shot
Epic'sode 4 ~ Hi Jinks
Epic'sode 3 ~ Groping Against Grope
Epic'sode 2 ~ The Clot Thickens

and the original mystery of it all ~  Epic'sode 1 ~

 ~ ~ EPIC*SODE 15 ~ ~

~ By Absolutely*Kate
Harry B. Sanderford

"I read
 the news
 oh girl"

ALL THE LATEST RIPPLE-ROARIN' RAGE,  . . . the hot hot-off-the-presses headline in Sunday's HAZLETOWN HOLLER was still sizzling and shaking up suspense. 

The reach of good newsprint paging out? 
Ah, very well read -- even between the lines -- from homes to hangouts, from hospital to . . . hideaway? 
~  ~  ~  ~  ~
Attention to detail makes all the difference between the War of 1812 and 1813, the Merrimac and the Monitor, and with eyes veering from the steady green bleep bleeps on his monitor at Mercy Always, back to page 5 of the jump from the headliner in the HAZLETOWN HOLLER, the perspicacious professor propped in a pillow-plumped hospital bed, plotting the perplexities of his iminent escape was not caught unawares by the visage blocking the bleeps of his veering view.
"You're new here aren't you?"
"Why no sir, I've been making rounds since the circle was invented it seems some days," smiled back the full fledged flirtation of soft dusky pink Revlon lips just above a midnight blue name tag of NITA GALE on the left side of a crisply white and decidedly snug uniform, practically hidden by what the red cross had on display. "Now, if you'll just roll to your side and hum The Battle Hymn of the Republic you're not going to feel any discomfort at all. Nope, none at all."

Silver flashed a needle whose length was as non de rigeur as the thigh high uniform worn by the fresh as a Kansas country face nurse who did not have a navy blue name tag on the right side of her uniformed presentation. Presentation was everything. Details, details underscored history's premise to that promise. Scholarly insights aside, he was a mortal man after all and curves presented are pause for delight . . . The other side of his cranium spun.  Yet . . . something, perhaps several somethings just did not seem right.
He resisted. "Wait! Haven't I seen you in a grad program before? That's not the dress the other nurse wore."
She persisted. "Roll over Beethoven and let the music play. It's not going to hurt that bad." She turned to see if the hallway behind the open door was clear. "Shhhh," she whispered. "Prof, it'll turn out OK."
He was strong and though prone, not prone to being rolled on his side where his backside was so exposed. His long arms reached to block the strain of her now more serious push. Her face wasn't in Kansas anymore, but tight and focused on intent. Before he could holler, "THIS IS NOT PERFECTLY RIGHT! I DEMAND A LOGICAL EXPLANATION!" the HAZLETOWN HOLLER slipped and slid from his grip and the twist of her wrist to resist slid her point into a very wise ass.

Her gaze was soft. Her gaze was sorry. The fresh as Kansas look was back in her eyes when she paused an extra second to lean over the strong silent man whose perplexities were now looking grim. "Never let the perfect be the enemy of the good, Prof ~ You taught me that."

One hand flipped her pearl rose iPhone from pocket to open as the other shut the door. Swifter than a voicemail can proceed its pacings, Tanya Gall, foreign service operative to the core of the corps, quick changed her allure to the more de rigeur standard blue sundress, neatly folded within the voluminous pockets of the black Coach bag which always had room to hide. Room enough now for a used silver needle wrapped in a white Hazletown Hospital towel. The cleaning cart on the third floor had been a godsend. She wished she was though. How she hated being on the wrong end of a good message.
"Manny? Hey, it's me. Now get this and get this good. It's done. It's over. I'm through. Score's been settled. Game's set and you've met your match. He's here. You tell Gabardine he can be picked up but I don't want to know what you're going to do. Just keep him safe, will you? He's one of the good guys. And tell Gabs, this girl is through. I've never seen or heard of you."
~  ~  ~  ~  ~

The door swung open. The door closed tight. Before she could clutch another sure shot aid from her Coach, her foreign service op's coach was on the approach to where her deed's destiny could not hide. She'd know that commanding voice and those stunning brown soft leather Calpierres anywhere. Behind a magnificent bouquet of yellow roses, a box of Belgian dark chocolates and the latest copy of Foreign Affairs magazine, Paul Caracas' unmistakable voice queried the scene, "Going some place Tanya?"
~  ~  ~  ~  ~


Yes, it seems Penelope Payne’s damning piece in the HAZLETOWN HOLLER found its way into the hands of nearly everyone involved in our little story. 
Leon Davenport fetched his copy from his front door welcome mat while the Folgers perked. Eddie read the article online from his laptop while IMing with Mary Lou. Sugar read it to Zelda over their morning Cheerios and then Zelda rolled it up to whack Sergeant Stine awake and shoo him from their couch and off to work. Harry didn’t need to read the newspaper, he was already thinking fast trying to keep from making news himself.
“Avery? You’re saying Avery had me abducted? My God Harry, I have to say I’m surprised and more than a little disappointed to find that you would fall in with that bastard.”
“I haven’t fallen in with that bastard Jeanette, and nobody calls him Avery.”
“I’ll see that he’s called a hell of a lot worse before this is over Harry and I’ll think up a few things to call you too.”
“Sticks and stones Jay C, but for right now you must be able to see our predicament,” Harry waggled the gun and shrugged what can I say?   

“Why are you doing this Harry, what the hell does he have on you? It’s not exactly like you are hurting for money.”

It was true, Harry had always been lucky. He’d been lucky in business, lucky with the ladies and more often than not, lucky picking the ponies. Anyone would say his life was charmed. That is at least, until Boss Gabardine set him up.  

“Jeanette, you’ve been out of the loop, so let me fill you in. Eugene was just supposed to keep you company long enough for the City Council to OK breaking ground on The Boss’s proposed sports park and gaming facility. It passed narrowly without your vote yesterday by the way. I had no part in any of that. I was called after the fact. You can believe that or not but so far, one person is dead and the Professor's wound up in the hospital. I was on my way there to ask him about something he’d said when I got the call to check up on Eugene. I think you have to admit things were not going all that well for you when I got here," Harry meant to be sarcastic but when she touched her throat he felt ashamed. "Look Jay, you’re just going to have to trust me when I tell you that it’s not a very good idea for you to be popping to the surface right now.”

“Who, who is dead? Is the Professor ok?” Jeanette had to sit down.

“Spangler or Spackler, the new projectionist AT THE BIJOU anyway. Word has it he was in the wrong place at the wrong time. It was Chester Hanks they really wanted. Do you believe that, Hookem Hanks? Some kind of bloody mess in the ladies room there too. I don’t know about that or just how Chester fits into all this but you can see The Boss very clearly wants you out of the picture.  As far as everyone knows, you are missing. I aim to keep it that way and I think I know someone who can help.”
~  ~  ~  ~  ~  

Kate started the coffee and dropped two toaster waffles in before padding barefoot to the front door for her morning paper. Opening the door she was alarmed to see a rather rumpled Jeanette Cheezum standing before her and Harry bent down beside her retrieving the newspaper. 


Odd good morning pleasantries were awkwardly exchanged and waffle smoke curled upwards in its own alarming fashion before Kate gathered her wits and pulled them both quickly inside. 

* C * L * I * F * F * H * A * N * G * E * R * S * !


Mosey on over to next Sunday's Matinee
for the next gut-gripping epic'sode!

" The Prints and The Popper "

Visual Mood selections ala EringTaylor8,
DidNotSpillCoffee and Harry's Wizardry
(c) 2010 ~ Dashing Duet Authors
  Absolutely*Kate and Harry B. Sanderford
Exclusive  ~ AT THE BIJOU


Matthew S. Magda said...

So Paul's surprise may have interrupted Tanya's intent. Perhaps she had too much gall and Paul knew how to charmingly appeal to it and thereby distract it to his purposes.
Good blend of characters there.

Penelope's story has created quite a stir. It seems Harry now has to scramble into a new plan for Jeanette to remain among the disappeared.

We know the letters IQ do not appear on the Professor's cheeks. There may be a wise ass here, but it will only be revealed to be the one who has the IQ to figure out why Chester was the target. I guess the answer is on the other side of that cliff. How could it be otherwise?

Nice work Kate and Harry.

Wendy said...

Well, well, well, I knew you'd have Z and me eating something healthy...what's wrong with Fruit Loops or Frosted Flakes? :)

Great job, Kate and Har! I like how things are coming together. I like how Jeanette is now Jay C. I like that the Prof's last vision before he went to La La Land was white fishnets and a pretty face. And most of all, I like that you two take the time to entertain your readers so well.

Anonymous said...

I love it. Jay C. was another ha ha for me. Yes, I have been a bit rumpled, but I will bounce back.
Harry and Kate*, you guys keep the light on for us, with your warmth and creative powers. I see nothing but greatness when we sail.

Harry said...

Paul Phillipstine Phillips says:

"Hey Harry, I have been having trouble getting into Miss*Kate's site for the last for days. I have finally caught up on the last few weeks and have absolutely (yes, I know - possible copyright infringement) loved this series as it has gone along. The latest installment with Jay C (didn't know she was a rapper) and the gang at the Bijou is a treat well worth savouring."

"(Could you copy & paste that for me on Kate's page. Don't know what the issue is there!!)"

Kate Pilarcik ~ absolutely said...

Well Commandant Phillips the Phillipstine, copyright infringements shall absolutely be waived due to your delightful charm. Rappers? Treats? We got 'em all AT THE BIJOU -- usually at Sugar's Sweet Shop but they get around.

As for you ... getting around AT THE BIJOU -- try clicking the "SIGN IN" in the top right corner of ATB's home page and *abra*cadabra* open*sesame, you're there! (I mean here). Thanks Paulie - great stuff you said. ~ Absolutely*Kate

Kate Pilarcik ~ absolutely said...

Jay C ... I mean rumpled gal ... you got bounce back action where other folks just try to take a second breath. I count on you for revival in all circumstances - I mean, look how you gave it to a cool guy wavin' a hot gun at you. You don't take no guff.

(Uh, anyone know what 'guff' really is? Jay C doesn't take it. She's top stuff.) ~ Absolutely*Kate, thankin' you mighty kindly as I know that big Palooka pardner of mine will when he comes "Aw Shucksing" through the BIJOU double mahogany doors.

Kate Pilarcik ~ absolutely said...

Shoogs, if it was up to me, I woulda put the "Trix for kids" right out in your pink pink fave bowl, but ol'Har set your breakfast table this epic'sode. I'm thinkin' Prof is smilin' at what you said as well as that white fishnet vision itself ... hmmm, I oughta try those things some Saturday night ... hmmmm.

Super spooned up thanks WendyMae -- You're Grrrrrreat to us scribers of matinee murder and mayhem. ~ Absolutely*Kate

Kate Pilarcik ~ absolutely said...

Well, well, well, that brings me to the Prof himself, knowin' his way around charm and appeal and gall and all. Good blend of characters is always our intent -- 'cause everyone knows WE know where the storyline is winding and meandering all along. Yeah, we do. ;-)

Harry? Scramble for a new plan? That man scrambles like the way others flip their egg-zactlies. No prob Prof, no prob.

Ah, but IQ on a wise ass? You gotta get pretty high up on the intellectual chart to pull a fast one on you, huh? Just wait and see. Steer clear of Chester though. That bum has another scheme comin', I can just feel it.

Me and Har really thank*you for your readin' and tellin' us how you like our tale ... How could it be otherwise? (indeed) ~ Absolutely*Kate

Harry said...

Prof, as long as I'm scramblin' I'll crack a couple extra eggs just in case you're hungry when you come to.
Sugar, now you know just last night you and Zelda were divvying up mini cheese burgers and chicken nuggets! But OK, let's make it Honey Nut Cheerios :)

Jay C. For you, I smell waffles.

I think we're gonna need a round of Bloody Marys too!

Thanks for staying tuned you guys are the best!