Thursday, March 4, 2010


* * * * * * * * * * * * * 
~ As told by that
cinematic raconteur,
Ian Rochford, 


The story goes that, some time in the seventies, when The Method was becoming de rigeur in Hollywood, a Famous Director was encountering some problems with a Famous Method Actor on the set of an action film. The scene takes place on a rooftop. The Famous Method Actor has to run from one side of the roof to the other, as fast as he can. That’s all.

He tries, and falters. This happens over and over. He just can’t get the “urgency” thing happening. He goes to his trailer, meditates, and returns. Still no good. He’s trying his best, he’s almost in tears but he just can’t run “right”. Money and daylight are burning away. Famous Director is getting the shits, big time. Tired of the mucking around, he yells “What is it, what’s the problem?”

“I just can’t find the reason for him to be doing this,” replies the Famous Method Actor across the rooftop. “I mean, what’s my motivation?”

The Famous Director sits down, lights cigarette, looks at the Famous Method Actor for a moment and says…

“I’ll tell you when you get here!”

(c) 2010 ~ Author Ian Rochford
Now Playing ~  AT THE BIJOU
Lighting the trip fantastic is how Sydney, Australia's answer to wit and wisdom shines best, from kleigs to spots. Spot on is IAN ROCHFORD, one-time TV comedy writer (alleged) who discovered the pleasures and difficulties of writing short stories.

From there . . . the world of entertainment and greater thought has never been quite the same. For sensitivIty, showmanship and the greatest romantic Gene Tierney every encountered in her fondest dreams, there's none other than our Ian.

for true delight you are!

~ Absolutely*Kate
and the fine staff of renown



Carrie said...

Okay, very funny! Makes me think of Gillian Anderson showing Tea Leoni how to run in high heels during a scene in Hollywood AD, (X-Files)

Michael Solender said...

That ought to do it. Ha, ya to you Ian!

Jeanette Cheezum said...

Funny, but did anyone get the director some immodium?

Crybbe666 said...

Great piece, Ian. I can see the Oz sense of humour in this. A fine read, from a fine writer!

Ian said...

As far as I recall (which is less and less these days), this story is true. Only the names have been forgotten...

Sorry, Kate, I posted this on my blog too, though I doubt that puts a dent in your readership!

Harry said...

Great title Ian! I'm only a little embarrassed to admit I had to look the big word up. I see Apoc...and Bob Duval is asking if I want to go surfing or kill kong. I'm paddling out every time just for the record. Also for the record, you give good grin!

There was an error in this gadget