Everybody Loves Somebody
Sometime
By Paul D Brazill
Even when he closed his eyes, Jack could see the rain seeping into the ceiling. He saw that dark patch spreading, the ceiling buckling. And when he slept, he dreamt of drowning. Dreamt of the ceiling collapsing and filling the room with dirty, rancid water. Choking him. Dragging him under.
He was getting paranoid, he knew. The palpitations were increasing, too. And it was getting worse.
He worried that the candles that he used to light the cottage would burn the crumbling place down. Which wouldn’t have been that bad an idea, if the place was still insured. But he’d stopped the insurance over a year ago. His invalidity benefit didn’t go far, after all. Booze, of course, and Pot Noodles. Maybe the odd cheese and onion pie.
When the winter kicked in, his arthritis bit like a beast and he stayed in bed as much as possible, with a bottle of whisky as a teddy bear.
The whisky was his friend most of the time. Bringing him welcome memories. The golden days.
Jack Hayes and Tommy Morten and Harjit Singh. The Rat Pack mark two. Their tribute act was the best in Bournmouth. Maybe the whole of the south coast of England. They once opened for Tom Cooper and Shirley Bassey was a big fan.
They played hotels and night clubs. Casinos . Tommy was Frank. Harjit was Sammy and Jack was Dean, of course. They were like kings.
Things were going great until that tour of the Greek Islands. It was a joy to start off with. The audience lapped it up night after night.
Then some little arse of a waiter sneaked into the dressing room and used his phone to record Lou Lou, the Philippine girl that did Judy Garland in the show, down on her knees , between Jack’s legs, playing come blow your horn. It was all over You Tube in a day. Turned out that Lou Lou was only 17. And she was a he. How was Jack to know?
He was a laughing stock. When they played gigs the audience would shout out for ‘Lola’ or ‘Dude Looks Like A Lady’. So the band sacked him.
And then the house of cards fell down.
Of course, he’d never been one to save money. He lived for the moment, like Dino.
The doctors told him to stop drinking. Said, if he’ didn’t he’d lose a leg to gangrene. Or maybe both. He didn’t care. He kept boozing. And when the time came, he let them do it without protest. Let them lob his pins off. He wasn’t going anywhere.
Sometimes he blamed the act for his drinking but he knew he was always a piss head. Just like his dad. It was genetic. People don’t change, anyway.
The Social Services used to send a nurse once a week. Meals on wheels, too. But that stopped. This was the Big Society they said. His friends and family would help him. No wonder they called it BS, he said.
Tommy and Harjit were in London now, working with Jonathon Ross on his television show . It was ironic humour, apparently. The pay was serious enough, though. He could have been there. If he could walk.
He guzzled the last of the whisky from the bottle . Mrs Griffiths from the corner shop would be at the cottage in a while with the new supply. She was a bit on the big side but she was alright. She laughed when he sang ‘That’s Amore’ but not so much when his teeth fell out. And then she’d crawl into bed with him.But he got the love where he could these days.
And like Dino said: everybody loves somebody sometime.
© 2011 ~ Author Paul D Brazill ~ AT THE BIJOU's RAT PACK REVUE
Photo Credits: Falling ceiling - Marlene Mano; Whiskey - katielips; Dino - classicvegas.com
PAUL DAVID BRAZILL? Once upon the time we first came upon each other, that dapper guy became my across the pond writing hero, and he shall be ever still. In his inimitable being-everywhere-at-once-and-the-same-time (though never rushed or dismantled) manner, Paul's the one who 'introduced me' to Robert J Randisi. A cryptic "You should see this" note was all it took. The rest, they shall recall is AT THE BIJOU RatPack history. History's no mystery to Mr Brazill either. You'll find he's amassed a'plenty of it at just about every shady crime corner lit'site you can shake a '44 at. But with a drink and Dino on his mind, don't you agree with me ~ he's sublime?
Paul said this story took off on its own and kept changing as it went along.
I think he was drinking again. "Na zdrowie Paul!"
Drink in so much more of what Paul D Brazill
is all about at ~
his outtasite site ~ You Would Say That, Wouldn't You?
his column at Pulp Metal Magazine
or within ~ The Mammoth Book Of Best British Crime
his column at Pulp Metal Magazine
or within ~ The Mammoth Book Of Best British Crime
Thank*you my colleague, my continental pally in Poland and London. You rock so many writers' worlds, we're glad all over to have you popping up AT THE BIJOU again
(and again).
~ Absolutely*Kate
and our distinguished RAT
PACKREVUE
RAT PACK SHOWS
PLAYING AT THE BIJOU
RATPACKREVUE
Tuesdays.
Thursdays.
Saturday Matinees too.
Be there or be square.
RATPACKREVUE
Always swell to see you here.
~ Absolutely*Kate,
and our swanky staff of renown
THE PACK DON'T WANT YA TO MISS A SHOW:
Sinatra: "If power doesn't mean that you have the opportunity to work with the people that you love, then you haven't really got any."
Opening Night: "RAT PACK REVUE TO YOU"
RAT PACK REVUE: ROBERT J RANDISI TAKES THE STAGE
RAT PACK REVUE: "How Did All These People Get Into My Room?" By Robert J Randisi, working the lounge before he hits the main room
RAT PACK REVUE: "Ain't That A Kick In The Head" By Robert J Randisi, paying homage to Ocean's 11, the original . . . for all the right reasons
RAT PACK REVUE: "Who's Got The Action" By Kevin Michaels, knowin' more than the night club scene
RAT PACK REVUE: "STAR" By Julie Morgan, hitchin' TinselTown to a dick's star
RAT PACK REVUE: "OH SOUL O'MIO" By Absolutely*Kate, mirroring more than Dorsey
RAT PACK REVUE: "DIVORCE YOUR LOVED ONE WITH DIGNITY" By Anthony Venutolo, oozing atmosphere, over the border
BIJOU AUTHORS ~
BIJOU DEBUT ~ 
JULIE (LEWTHWAITE) MORGAN ~ SEAN PATRICK REARDON
PLUS STAGE AFTER PAGE AGAIN ~ OUR HEADLINER ~
STARRING IN AUTHORS-TO-AUTHOR INTERVIEWS,
MORE OF RAT PACK MYSTERY AUTHOR ROBERT J RANDISI
WITH A
STAY TUNED.
PLAY GOOD TUNES.
POUR. ENJOY.
