Thursday, March 11, 2010

POSSIBLE ORIGINS FOR HIM. 1. ~ By John Wiswell of Harbinger*33



CUE SOUND:  Here's an audio recording
of the wizard Wiswell performing his cinematic monologue 


Starring John Wiswell as ~

Possible Origins For Him. 1.
By ~ John Wiswell 

I wasn’t bombarded by cosmic rays. My parents weren’t shot and a clown didn’t fly through my window as I was calculating revenge. I like clowns, though. They aren’t scary or menacing. You make them that way, when all they want to do is make you smile. They don’t care if you’re a Muslim or emo or President of these United States. You could have the codes to all the nuclear weapons in the world, and all a clown wants to do is make you chuckle. That’s why he scares you – he’s unhinged from your forced habits. I like that.

I wasn’t a clown. I was a pharmacist. Used sugar and food coloring to put smiley faces on lollipops for kids who didn’t want to take their medicine. That’s my story. Day after day. Lollipop after lollipop. The child comes in crying and leaves happy, sucking on grape or lime. Mom comes in frowning, fakes a smile for the pharmacist, puts up with his antics, then, when she’s paid and thinks she’s out of eyeshot, goes back to frowning. Mom’s smile isn’t real, kids, no matter how much sugar and food coloring you put on it. You’ve got to follow her into the parking lot, climb into the back seat, catch her by the scalp and dig in there with a straight razor if you want to give her a smile that won’t go away. That’s my story.

But that’s also small scale. Eventually a clown’s got to play to bigger audiences. You’ve got to put money away. 401K – not for retirement, but terrorism. A pharmacist can make a lot, especially when he does his shifts alone and tampers with the billing. And he has access to so many handy chemicals – wholesale!

Adults will pay anything for their drugs. It helps them fake things. I handed them their Rx lies, and rang up the bill. That’s what I’m serving everybody now. Grape, lime, and the bill. This isn’t a trench coat – it’s a lab coat dyed purple! I want to see you laugh, Gotham. I want to see your smile. Not the one you put on when you walk by security guards and bar tenders. You just insist on turning back into pumpkins at midnight when your fairytale fix of alcohol wears off. And if you’re going to insist turning back into pumpkins, then I’m going to carve you like a Jack O’Lantern. I’ll find that smile in there somewhere. That’s my story.

(c) 2010 ~ Author John Wiswell
A characteristic hit from the parade @ The Bathroom Monologues

ABSOLUTELY*KATE: Well John, you certainly creeped me out in your wacky mind goes wild-wise . . . but, while I catch my breath and turn the house lights back on -- all of them -- Would you tell the nice folks AT THE BIJOU what's shaking down with you and your prolific writing? Any announcements? 

JOHN: The Announcement:
2010 has been kind to my writing thus far:

Right now you can read my crime story, Helping the Nice Guy,” over on Short-Story.Me, my tiny story about the Puzzlemaker’s Wife at Tweet the Meat, and sensate into my zombie story, “The Strange Case in East Parish,” over on Alien Skin Magazine. I have tales forthcoming at Flash Fiction Online, 10Flash, Untied Shoelaces of the Mind, the #fridayflash anthology and the legendary Weird Tales. They are about, respectively: alligators tunneling under a guy’s house, two men chatting on a foggy lake, a man trying to marry himself, the military being banned from anywhere gay people might be as to not put soldiers in uncomfortable positions, and selling storks as a viable alternative to birth. I’m enormously grateful to these sites and magazines for their support. FFO will be my first pro-rate sale and doing anything with Weird Tales is a dream of many Fantasy and Horror writers.

ABSOLUTELY*KATE: Why that's funny John ~ A nightmare writer enjoying dreams. Sure makes sense though as you flush out flashes of something new every day at your BATHROOM MONOLOGUES. How many are piling up there now? OH -- SORRY! When I got rattled listening to your Jokester monologue, our local Phantom AT THE BIJOU pulled a switcheroo on your photo. Forgive me?

Recently past 1,000 stories.

Yes Captain Kate, you're forgiven.
You plug rather prolifically yourself.

Cheers, all.

You scared up a great time for all of us once again.

~ Absolutely*Kate
  and our fine staff of renown


Crybbe666 said...

How damn good was that? Seriously! The audio was just spot-on, kinda chilling the way you said "That's my story," at the end of the second paragraph. Gave me goosbumps. Well done!!!

FreshGreenKim said...

John Wayne Gacy, RIP.

Very powerful...

Harry said...

Great piece and a super-psycho reading John! Damn good!

Michael Solender said...

Send in the clownage.Howdy Doody has got nothing on you.

Unknown said...

Great read, John ... Loved the audio. And for the record --- clowns scare the piss outta me.

Anonymous said...

Yikes! Don't drink the kool-aid. Mom’s smile isn’t real, kids, no matter how much sugar and food coloring you put on it. I loved that line.

You're audio is great, and what a fab voice for this pece.

Jodi MacArthur said...

This is one of my favs of yours. I love that laugh at the end.

A thousand stories! You've put your time in and man aren't you reapin' those pro rate results! I'm so happy/proud/awe of you, John. You are a true example of plugging away despite extreme challenges.