Saturday, November 12, 2011

NOVEMBER goes NOIR, AT THE BIJOU ~ Bertino's Head ~ By AJ Hayes - BIJOU DEBUT!


 ~ By AJ Hayes

When they smashed in the door Tamblyn and Russell didn't know what they were going to get. Turned out what they got was a fat kid with an enormous head in a grease stained Metal Mulisha tee shirt.

“On the floor, asshole!”

Russell swept the kid's feet out from under him. Tamblyn snapped the cuffs tight. Jerked the kid to his feet by his cuffed wrists. He knew it hurt like hell. That's the way they wanted it. The way it needed to be. Pit bull dominance right off the bat.

“Move it you fat fuck.”

Russell fast walked the kid out the door, down the stairs and tossed him into the backseat of the cruiser. Tamblyn hit the gas as soon as Russell's door slammed. The kid lurched back against the seat then went face first into the steel screen when Tamblyn locked the brakes up. The metal mesh cut the kids cheekbones and the bridge of his nose wide open and a few teeth went flying. Russell half-turned in his seat.

“How'd ya like that, ass face? Want some more?”

“No, please no more.” The kid's voice came out mushy and wet.

Tamblyn gunned the motor. Looked at Russell.

“Think he's ready?”

“Nah,” Russell said. “Not yet.”

The big v-eight barked loud. The rear brakes screeched. The kid hit the screen again. This time he managed to turn his face away so the wire tore his left ear loose. Left it hanging by the lobe. This time the kid stayed forward his face pressed against the metal. He blinked some of the blood away from his eyes. They were going-going-gone but he pulled a little focus on Russell's face.

“Please . . .” was all he managed to pant out.

“Please.” Tamblyn snickered. “Fuck your please, Bertino. Fuck it in the ass. Just tell us where Callaway is.”

“Yeah, Bertino. Just tell us where Jimmy is and all the pain will stop,” Russell said.

The kid's voice was weak. Sounded like it was coming from somewhere far, far away. Fading fast.

“Yeah,” he said. “Yeah . . . Jimmy said . . . Jimmy said—" he pressed his face into the screen hard. His voice faded to almost inaudible.

Both cops leaned right up to him. Listening hard through the solid steel mesh.

“Jimmy said . . . to tell you. He'd see you both . . . In hell.”

Bertino's fingers found the red button of the remote and pressed it home. The three pounds of C4 wrapped around his neck detonated, blowing the mesh apart, sending a thousand slivers of steel through both men's faces. In the silence following the explosion the three headless bodies in the squad car seemed almost peaceful and the night almost quiet and the moon almost as bright.

© 2011 ~ Author AJ HAYES
Spectacular NYC photo ala Anthony V Loh


Genuine Fedora of the genuine AJ HAYES

AT THE BIJOU AUTHOR PAL TO AUTHOR PAL, with a little help from our Noir Pals ~

Absolutely*Kate full speeds Noir
You ready for your closeup,
Fedora Fella?

Author AJ HAYES, tough, tender
Be gentle
 with me 

 A*K   Tell ya what we're gonna do, oh mighty author pal ~ Since you transcend readers wit' the sneak up subtlety of your explosive wordsmithery magic, I can bring in ringers to transcend movie magic. This interview is AT THE BIJOU, where anything can happen . . . especially when Your guts . . . spiel, eloquent.

 AJ    I trust ya Kid.

Bogie & Bacall, street smarts
Katie, woid on da street is ya done swell so far hosting NOVEMBER goes NOIRAT THE BIJOU. Lotta top notch authors gunning straight. So's me and Baby, we got youse guys script here, we'll cut ya a break, run the interview. Take a load off you two. And Hayes - you're one tough hombre.

 A*K   Hey ya big Palooka . . . What else you want the fine fancified folks in our swanky theatre to know and guffawy and chew on awhile about youse? When'd you foist pick up a pen or crayola?

 AJ   Hm. Started scribbling for real about ten, twelve years ago. Before that it was a few poems and a coup'la partial stories on the back of Trix boxes (silly rabbit). Then a guy at B&N put me on to Stephanie Mood's Fiction Writing course at Grossmont College and the rest is written on the post office wall.

Table talks. Nobody walks.

Well, that would explain why so many dizzy dames think he's WANTED.

A*K   What makes you do that voodoo that you do?

 AJ  Voodoo? Some folks would say DooDoo. Dunno, one of those always wanted to, finally did tunes I guess. I grew up reading from age four and was fortunate enough to have relatives with bookcases full of the good old stuff. From Ovid (yeah, I didn't get what that cat was talkin' about, but I read him just the same) to The Bobbsey Twins (those were in the library of a pair of maiden aunts) Then I moved to California and discovered the library and that was that. Read every book in the joint.

Always drive your point home, Baby.

See Marlowe, 

a good character

is always a good read.

 A*K   But man oh man, how the heck do you do it as prolificooly as YOU do?

 AJ    Aw, toots. I just tool the streets, look around Southern California and ideas and people just jump off the street and right into my head. Guy came into a place I worked once wearing a stingray for a hat (No, a real, freshly dead, starting to smell, four-foot wingspan batray). If that doesn't give you a flood of stories . . . well . . .

Classy is as classy does. It's a tell.

Kid, this kid's the real deal. Aces in a  deck that ain't even stacked yet.

 A*K   Other links to urge folks thinks?

 AJ    Wow! So many. A Twist Of Noir, Death by Killing, Shotgun Honey, Flash Jab Fiction, Status Stories, Thrillers Killers 'n Chillers, The Flash Fiction Offensive, All Due Respect, Eaten Alive, Richard Godwin's Chinwag At The Slaughterhouse interview series, Nigel Bird's Sea Minor blog, Chuck Wendig's Terrible Minds, Jimmay Callaway's Criminal Complex . . . and AT THE BIJOU now too. You got a couple days to listen more?

We got us a captive audience.

Ammo, Katie, ask him about the ammo. He's that sure of a hot shot, he's gotta know about big guns. Make the big lug squeal, Katie. 

A*K   Got it Bogie. So, hey Bub, other books to urge their looks?

 AJ   All of the Brit gritters, Bird, Ayres, Brazil, Bury, Sant, Richard Godwin's Apostle Rising, among a hundred others. Yanks? Doc Smith, Dave White, Josh Freakin' Stallings, William Gibson, Matt Funk, Jimmy Callaway, Chris Rhatigan -- c'mon this is gonna take a week to complete and I'll still be missing a thousand people who MUST be listed. I have to stop now, I'm getting depressed because this subject needs to be a book -- maybe an encyclopedia.

A*K   You are waxing  eloquent Bucko - Single spot be deservingly yours, darlin. Is it true that you're the pal of every last lingerin' person 'round WebTowne? How the heck does your mind travel so fast to be there, read there, glean there, make the scene there and then leave it all the betterfied place 'cause o'what you have to say there?

 AJ    There's SO many great writers out there. So many nice folks. A guy owes it to them all to comment on their work or push their book or anything else he can do to give then a hand. Yeah, I run exhausted a lot because I owe them all big time for the learning I get every time I read their stuff and the privilege I feel being able to associate with them.

Ya know how to cut a rug, Kid.
Well now we know he's jake, and he knows how to whistle, now make him dance Katie, make him dance ... absolutely.

A*K   You resonate so true Fedora Fella. Music and lit meet your wit and the alchemy is kinda a psychodelic explosive akin to what the Coyote places in the pathway of the Roadrunner. 'Meep Meep'. So what's the MO of your mojo? Tell me, tell me true.

 AJ     Simple. I read and read and then read some more. I read 'til my eyes bleed. Everybody I can get my hands on. Genre? What the hell is that? The only genres I demand are Good, Amazing and Well I'll Be A Son Of A Bitch! One thing I've learned is all the arts resonate in your head constantly. When you read a really great story or book, you've already cast the movie, got the theme music playing in your head, the poetry whispering in your ear and had an epiphany  or three kicking your butt all to hell and gone.

A*K    Oh, I looked up both 'ATTUNE' and 'VIBE' in my Thorndike Barnhart Buster Brown, and found you plastered your big mug smack dab on those pages. I grinned. You're on when you're on. Readers feel that. Now,  say you threw a bash where you could extend the ivory pasteboard invite to any Sally and Slim - Who'd ya let in? 

 AJ    Anybody who wanted to get in -- as long as they're old-fashioned, sub-zero, I mean, COOL. You all know who you are. Yeah you do. Will the first team please step forward?

I like it when we both get to wear hats.

We think this is the beginning 
of a long authoring admiration. 
Here's lookin' at you kids.

A*K    Love ya Clyde. Honoured to do ya proud.

 AJ    Love ya right back, Awesome Kitty

Every other day that's


Goes   NOIR

Be there

or be square Bub.

Talkin to you too, Toots. 


rises on:

simply C L I C K  show LINKS below:







Debut ~ CHRIS Rat-a-tat RHATIGAN






  AJ HAYES and










"NOIRVEMBER" term coined & minted
 by the trendy Harry B Sanderford 


Author said...

Lovely stuff, AJ, thoroughly enjoyed that. Great interview, too! (A stingray for a hat? Fantastic!)

Unknown said...

Noir to crimson in an instant. And, what a cool last sentence, emphasising the surreal calm after the explosion.

A hat tip to you, AJ.

Cheers for the name-check too, bud.


Ps. That dame, Kate should be proud of what she's doing for us folks here. x

Paul D Brazill said...

Wonderful and vibrant and vivid.

Harry said...

So the kid wasn't really fat...couldn't happen to a nicer coupla cops.

Nigel Bird said...

Do you know, I wrote this a few weeks ago in an interview with Gerard Brennan:

'One writer in there who always excites me, whether it be poetry, micro, flash or short fiction is Bill (AJ) Hayes. The guy is ripe for the picking and I hope some publisher out there gets a sniff of him before I force him to act himself.'

I can't praise you highly enough, AJ. You're like one of those undiscovered reserves of oil that everyone keeps chasing. Thing is, the smart ones among us know where to find you.

Serious talent and a seriously big human being.

May all the sweet things you can imagine fall at your feet, Mr Hayes.


Sean Patrick Reardon said...

Great story AJ. Fast, furious, and violent, just like I love them. That was prob the best piece of flash I have read, in...can't even remember. You're a top notch dude and I have really been digging the writing of yours I have been reading lately. Your reviews are always so good as well. Proud to say I know you! Great job as yoush, A*K!

Chris Rhatigan said...

Cracker of a story there AJ. Nasty, to-the-point noir where nobody lives!

Cool interview too -- thanks for the shout out.

Madam Z said...

Damn, you're good, Aj! While reading this story, I felt like I was right there, seeing the poor fat kid, hearing the nasty mean cops, and (almost) feeling the pain.

I also enjoyed the interview.I'm from southern California too, but I never, ever saw anyone wearing a stingray for a hat! Some guys have all the luck.

Helen A. Howell said...

Tough, rough and gritty - great stuff, I'll just pull me another coffin nail, pour a shot and settle back to enjoy the show some more!

Cool Story Al!

Graham Smith said...

Wonderful story AJ. Tough, uncompromising and a marvellously explosive ending.

Anonymous said...

Man, you guys sure know how to swell a guy's head. Now, darn it, I gotta go find another stingray -- the old one got too small to fit. Thanks again.

Kate Pilarcik ~ absolutely said...

I just knew writing like that wasn't done for just the halibut.

AT THE BIJOU hearty *Thanks* for how your Noir blasted the joint, Fedora Fella. (You know someone who knows someone what can clean up this mess? Bertino's all over the place.)

SERIOUSLY good sir, tough, tight, gritty action had me cringing and then suddenly, your talents swirled with the reflective cadence of the moon and the moon and the moon.

Yeah. Real deal you are. For how you write. For how you constantly take fellow authors the higher.

~ Absolutely*Kate