Tuesday, June 22, 2010



Aloethar: I can feel it. The Source. Waldfrid was right. All knowledge is here. The God, who is he?

Barry: I am here Aloethar. What is it you wish to know?

Aloether: Who are you?

Barry: I am the Alpha and Omega, I am the source of all knowledge, creator of this world. Nah, sod it. I can't keep this up mate. You're a character in a novella, and I'm your writer.

Aloethar: You speak in riddles my Lord. How is it I can sense this boundless knowledge? I feel as though I can shape the world if I only reach out . . .

Barry: You can. I can write what I want. I'll probably edit it later if it doesn't fit, but hey, shoot. I could so with some fresh ideas.

Aloethar: How can I stop the storm?

Barry: Oh not that again. Look, I'll let you stop it in time before anyone you really care about gets hurt, okay? I'll even save that poor camel -- I was feeling guilty about frying him. But please, let me keep the dramatic tension going for a while. Ask me something else.

Aloethar: Erm. You said you're a writer?

Barry: Yes.

Aloethar: What's that?

Barry: Didn't I invent a writing system for the Medebian clansmen?

Aloethar: A what?

Barry: I guess not. Look, I haven't got time to get into endless world building okay? I've got a number of spoken languages with various influences and naming conventions. I've got towns and countries with names based on interesting etymological tricks. I've got a magic system that uses emotional control, and a whole pantheon of gods. What more do you want?

Aloethar: I am confused, sire. How is it that you are God?

Barry: I see I'm going to have to rephrase this for you. Let's just say, I use words to weave this world.

At this point another figure swirls up from the authour's subconscious and belches into his inner ear.

Barry: Hey-up. Look's like Waldfrid's been at the bottle again. How's it hanging Waldfrid old buddy?

Walfrid: I know who you are! I saw you last time but I forgot. The knowledge was ever on the tip of my mind, gnawing at me - - like a worm. But now I remember! You told me you thought'd be funny to make me an alcoholic with chronic flatulence!

Barry: Ah, I was thinking of cutting those bits from the final edit. Bad taste.

Walfrid: I'm still left with the problems you foisted on me! You foul demon!

Aloethar: What's going on? What do you speak to our god that way, Walfrid?

Walfrid: He'd not a bloody god! He's some nerdy computer programmer sitting in the dark in his kitchen making up stupid stories.

Barry: Now hang on a minute there Waldfrid. I was going to give you a happy ending. Carry on like that and I'll whip you across the universe on the end of one of those red energy cords faster than you can say silent but violent.

Walfrid just simmers with anger. Ultimately The Authour controls his words and is happy to let him stew in silence for a moment.

Barry: Now, Aloethar, my dear main character, it's almost time to go back to the story. Do you have any last questions?

Aloethar: Oh Lord, my mind brims with them but I can't put them into words.

Barry: All right. How about I enable you to speak all the languages of Cryl when you get back then? That should be fun. Thanks for the idea. Anything else?

Aloethar: Oh lord, there is only one thing I truly desire. Please tell me how to stop the Wind!

Barry: Very well. Walfrid?

Walfrid: What?

Barry: You're cured, mate.

Come back for the GRAND FINALE

Number 9 is on its way! Number 9 ... Number 9 ... Number 9 
:) Twas fun wasn't it? I'd like to add a note at the end of the interview if I may. Something that Jodi sent me through the post all the way from Texas may have had a subconscious influence on this ...

 This interview has been brought to you by Great Northern Beans

How's that? I'm glad you prompted me to do this Kate. It was great fun. I'll be doing this again if only for my own personal amusement and brain-storming.
Kate and the BIJOU,
Thanks for all you do
and how you do it!
~ Sir Barry!!

Remember to Return for the GRAND FINALE


Sam said...

Fantastic! This is the first time I've seen this done and I enjoyed the interview more than I can tell you. Of course, now I've met the characters, I'm going to have to go back and their their stories.

Kate Pilarcik ~ absolutely said...

Oh SAM! We love you! You are hereby granted a lifetime popcorn supply AT THE BIJOU. We'll tell the projectionist (the one not killed off yet in our concurrent murder-mystery-weekend matinee) to rouse up Epic'sodes 1 thru 8 for your viewing pleasure.

And yes, the VERY BARRY CHARACTERS are more alive than we all thought - could be something they drank in that last distilled brew -- whoops, don't want to ruin the plot-suspense. Drink it up Sir!

~ Absolutely*Kate
and the fine staff of renown

Unknown said...

Great pic first of all! And I love the the Q&A ... I love when scribes flip the script and break that fourth publishing wall for experiments like this. Well executed.

Anonymous said...

Barry, this has been consistantly good. I can't wait for the next part.

Harry said...

Very clever interview, gotta love that Walfrid!