Sunday, June 27, 2010

THE PRINTS AND THE POPPER ~ ~ Epic*sode 14 ~ "A WRINKLE IN TIME" ~ By Absolutely*Kate and Harry B. Sanderford of Harbinger*33




"I read
 the news
 oh boy"

Saaaaay - 

Epic'sode 13 ~ Lucky For You?
Epic'sode 12 ~ Midnight Cowboy
Epic'sode 11 ~ The Shadow Knows
Epic'sode 10 ~ The Pissing Match
 Epic'sode 9 ~ Chain, Chain, Chain 
Epic'sode 8 ~ Too Cool!
Epic'sode 7 ~ Meet Virginia
Epic'sode 6 ~ I See the Light
Epic'sode 5 ~ Lucky Shot
Epic'sode 4 ~ Hi Jinks
Epic'sode 3 ~ Groping Against Grope
Epic'sode 2 ~ The Clot Thickens

and the original mystery of it all ~  Epic'sode 1 ~

 ~ ~ EPIC*SODE 14 ~ ~

~ By Absolutely*Kate
Harry B. Sanderford

"I read
 the news
 oh girl"



The headline in Sunday's HAZELTOWN HOLLER was the largest typefont-size Max Jenkins had ever been asked to set. His editor was insistent. His editor was adamant. His editor was being a pain in the ass but -- this was a front page holler in the HOLLER and Nancy in the production department liked his idea to drip red ink down between two of the columns. He was going to ooze from the OO's. It was a gonna be a real gripper this dripper, an alarming edition
leading off with - - - 


"What a lead off! Why there's a fresh wind blowing the cover off this cover-up! Penelope Payne is one uncanny investigative reporter. Indeed she is. How could it be otherwise? She'd never let the perfect become the enemy of the good. Wait, didn't I try to explain that to Lieutenant Stine -- that was an important clue for what he had to do . . . and all he had to do was save the BIJOU. That's all. Someone should've told Kate before it was too late about what was transpiring behind the scenes. Now it looks like it could be more than red velvet curtains coming down for her too. If only Harry would've listened to my plan, the noose in the news wouldn't be so taut now . . . and now, holy mackerel, now I have all these ethnicity readings to prepare for what is to be taught for the Yale European Summer Studies program so I must leave this Hazeltown Hospital, I must . . . but I wish I would've told Harry where I hid it. Sure as Lincoln, Roosevelt and Horace Mann that man would know what to do with it. That's a clue too. Nurse! Nurse! Can you send someone out for some back issues of The Economist, my discharge papers and will you please substitute a chocolate protein shake for this nutrition-forsaken jello concoction. What's that? More medication? No, no -- I have to talk to Harry about this alarming edition and his cue to the clue -- "


Paul Caracas, InterNoir's hot shot hire in Hazeltown had a clue or two where the Payne dame's claim to fame was inking its thinking from. His thoughts rustled back to last night at the Lucky Shot Bar & Billiards almost as many times as he rustled the jump pages of the HAZELTOWN HOLLER's Sunday edition. He'd been outsourced as the unnamed source too many times. Was it wile or guile that let her press pass prowess garner intel from inside his psyche, or did he save face with headquarters by claiming excess Kozel beer and the good stuff the astute barkeep Anthony astutely kept pouring out?


"Ooo! Ooo! Ms Payne sure meant what she said when she said to read her byline in the morning HOLLER! There is simply nothing hotter than the HOLLER when a sensation is hung out to dry. Well, can I pour you another cup of coffee while your uniform is getting dry Inspector Phillips? So kind and friendly of you to come by and bring this lovely brioche. How did you ever guess one of my favorites and that I'd certainly enjoy some company while Edgar was out of town covering the Baltimore Ravens training camp? Once again, I'm so very embarrassed for my coffee splash spill when I read the thrill of how clean that profound Ms Payne gives crime its rightful shame. It'll all come out in the wash. Oh, and your uniform will be dry now soon. Would you care to play Scrabble while we wait? -- "


Waiting was what Boss Gabardine was doing. For some heads to roll. For some spin to misdirect. For news where this news leaked. For  plugging the leak, and plugging it so's nobody didn't know nothing about it no more. For a fall guy to take the fall. It wouldn't be long now. No, not long at all -- 


All alleged drama in a theatre can come true. It can happen AT THE BIJOU. It did. Noted political philanthropist Avery Gould Gabardine named in corruption cover-up. Crime doesn't pay but it certainly buys the best lawyers. A crack legal team is convening counsel currently at the state capital. Missing hometown movie reviewer Frances Jeanette Cheezum's blood prints match the hunch and high agility in fingerprinting detection of BIJOU chief popcorn popper Eddie Cartwright to the B+positive type found in traces of several words scrawled on the BIJOU Ladies room wall. An unnamed source close to this reporter confirms the smear campaign to blur the bloody message. In addition for this edition, the aforementioned high-ranking not mentioned source holds firmly to the theory that Fast Frannie, the artist now known as Jeanette, was an unwilling but not unwitting accomplice in a frenzied frame-up gone foul by BIJOU projectionist Chester Hanks. Unfortunately the voltage went out instead for temporary replacement Sparky Denton in a misplaced hit. STRIKE ONE! 

Chester Hanks remains at large. With the Cheezum whereabouts still unknown, a sizable reward for any news relating to revelation and discovery has been offered by a source close to the lucrative publishing family who wishes to remain anonymous at this time.  

~  ~  ~  ~  ~

The Hazeltown Holler surpassed daily circulation and printed an evening edition for the first time since Nixon was impeached. Chester Hanks nabbed the last one from a paper box outside of Murphy’s Mudcat, a beer joint and bait shop over in the town of Alice where he served his community service polishing a barstool with his back pockets. He ordered another can of Schlitz and smoothed the paper flat on the bar. He read no farther than the news about Sparky Denton and drained his beer in one long swallow. The fat cats that scavenged the ponds around Alice were not the only ones Chester had been angling for. He’d overheard a bit of information concerning Boss Gabardine and that film critic for the HOLLER. Being a man himself, he figured The Boss would rather his wife remained unaware of this particular information. He had also figured the Boss might want to hitch a new Ranger bass boat to the back of his truck. When it came to figuring, Chester’s calculating could be ponderous. Whereas another man might sum up it was time to cut his line, Chester Hook’em Hanks determined it was time to dangle bigger bait.

* C * L * I * F * F * H * A * N * G * E * R * !


Mosey on over to next Sunday's Matinee
for the next gut-gripping epic'sode!

" The Prints and The Popper "

 (c) 2010 ~ Dashing Duet Authors
  Absolutely*Kate and Harry B. Sanderford
Exclusive  ~ AT THE BIJOU


Pamila Payne said...

This series has become part of my Sunday morning wake up routine. What will I do when it ends? With all these cliffhangers, I'm betting it will never end...

Kate Pilarcik ~ absolutely said...

((( Shhh, don't tell Har I whispered your way Pamila ... but that's a sure bet. )))

~ Absolutely*Kate who not only thanks you for the read, but is mighty glad to be part of your cup of coffee routine, come a Sunday morn!

Wendy said...

Sunday mornings? Coffee? A neverending cliffhanger by Kate and Har? That's just my cup of tea!! :)

Another great epicsode...I like where this is going.

Matthew S. Magda said...

Being in a hospital is not fun, even if it is only an imaginary one. In fact that may be worse, since you don't really have the ability to get yourself out. The crime mystery authors determine that.

This plot has more twists than Chubby Checker. The red oo's do bring out the bloody underside of what is lurking within that bossy philanthropist.

Penelope is the sly seducer and Paul had better watch out.

Bravo again to Kate and Harry for keeping things thrillin'

Anonymous said...

Sugar, can I have tea with you?
Ms. Payne you are no fool.
Harry and Kate you just never run out of the good stuff.
Matthew, I love those one liners.
Who knows where this will take us?

Great Smiths.

Unknown said...

Nice roundup of characters... "His editor was being a pain in the ass ..." I should know about that. I'm one of 'em...

Harry said...

Thanks for Poppin' in on the Popper everyone! I heard you whisperin' Kate!